Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sorry - need to vent - SO angry with my Nan re xmas!!!!

22 replies

OnZephyrstDayofXmas · 12/12/2005 19:48

Does everyone have at least one relative that ruins xmas for everyone???
At the moment my Nan has got me fuming - as she does every xmas with everyone!
I hope this doesn't come across in the wrong way sounding like we want more presents - that's not it.... see if you would be mad too!....

My Nan is very well off. She always going on about her thousands sitting in the bank and how she doesn't need all that money. She moans about vouchers and things being sent to her from where my Grandad used to work (he died 8 years ago but they are so good to her)She turns her nose up and is very "What do I want that for?" She even said that about 400.00 she recently got to pay her heating over the winter.
She never ever buys anything for the kids. Last year for xmas she gave me a scarf and gloves and gave dp a bag that you would give a bottle in as a present - except she gave him just the bag My Mum has just told me that this year she hasd bought dp 2 pairs of socks. Not just any socks. You know the sort of 'fluffy' girls ones that are around at the moment? One pair is lilac and white stripey, the other pair has a big chickens head stuck to the side!!!!!! After pmsl I'm now so angry! Why doesn't she just send a note that says "sorry I don't like you"

OP posts:
santabops · 12/12/2005 19:50

ummm

I'm sorry but my gran died last February so feeling like you should stop moaning and enjoy your christmas with her.

harpsiheraldangelssing · 12/12/2005 19:51

sorry but pmsl at the idea of giving someone a bottlebag as a present...
the socks sound special too
she is certifiable, clearly
get her sectioned and take her money
and yes it would royally P me off too

merrycompo · 12/12/2005 19:53

everyone has at least one relative who gives naff presents. You just have to accept it sadly

Original poster
OnZephyrstDayofXmas · 12/12/2005 19:54

Sorry to hear about your Nan Satabops ....... I know it sounds like I'm just being ungrateful but this is just the tip of the iceberg - I could sit here all night and list the nasty things she has done to all of us over the last 8 years....

OP posts:
santabops · 12/12/2005 19:55

sorry if she isn't that nice but if it was just naff presents it wouldn't bother me!

my Gran always spoke her mind but I think we are all missing her at the moment...

jinglinggoblin · 12/12/2005 19:58

could you ask her if she is struggling for ideas and tell her what he would really like before she has chance to say no? or next time she is moaning about having too much money tell her you are skint and cant afford to put your heating on.

my grandma is lovely, but i do lol at her around xmas. she asked me what smellies xp would like and i said anything but old spice. guess what he got? she also has a habit of nicking pressies - if you are shopping with her and pick up something and say 'oooh, x will really like that' you get to the checkout and find that its mysteriously made it onto her pile. its only cos she wants to get people stuff they like of course, but i do feel the need to tell them i was going to buy it 1st!

bauble99 · 12/12/2005 20:00

PMSL.

I'm sure he'll look lovely in them.

Seriously. Who knows what's going on in her head. My mum (not even a grandma) bought us a shoe-cleaning one Christmas, with 'polish on' and 'polish off' written onto the brushes. ??????????

Make the most of her while you can. I'm sure she does like and love you.

bauble99 · 12/12/2005 20:06

IME, people regress as they get older and a lot of the behaviour is almost toddler-like, strops, tantrums etc. My mum is 71 and I'm aware of how our roles are reversing. I try and deal with some of my mum's irrational responses and actions in the same way as I would my children's. Trying not to be patronising as I do it, of course. This is obviously getting you down, though.

jac34 · 12/12/2005 20:14

Unfortunately, I have no Nans still alive, but I remember my Mums Mum always knitted me really itchy jumpers......which I now remember fondly.
However, my MIL is the bad present buyer in our family, it's a standing joke, she always rewraps presents and gives them out to other people, or keeps a store of them,then when it's someones Birthday she picks one out and gives it away.
Some of them have been doing the rounds for years!!
I can never wait to unwrap mine as I just can't wait to see what cr*p present I've got next, DH and I have a great laugh about it.
It's not as if she only does it to me,she does it to everyone so thats alright
I don't know if it would be so funny if it was just me.
However, I think I know why they do it,they have everything so when someone gives them something they just store it away.Also, at their age they can't be arsed going round the shops at Christmas time,and to be honest who can blame them !!!

HRHQueenOfQuelNoel · 12/12/2005 20:18

I suppose I should be 'angry' too - my grandparents (well my Gran died last year - so it's just my grandad now) have ALWAYS sent £10 adults, and £5 for children for Christmases and birthdays.

They never travelled, lived well within their means and my grandad is receiving 2 pensions (his state on and one from 50 odd years working on the railways).

When my gran died last year we discovered that in their joint account they had £32,000 sitting there. Now, after sharing out grans share of the money to the family my grandad is just below the threshold amount where he'd have to start paying for his care - so not badly off by any means. Anyhow, this year he's decided for the first time to "up" the amounts we get to £20 for adults, and £10 for children.

They NEVER sent us presents, always money, and the same now - but then he is 92 and can't get out.

Original poster
OnZephyrstDayofXmas · 12/12/2005 20:19

It wouldn't be so bad if it was everyone though - everyone else gets 25.00 in a card!!

She is 74 now and like you say Bauble, it seems like the roles are reversing. At the same time I know that she is perfectly sane but has to make an issue for the attention. My Aunt just had her 40th b'day and my Nan totally ruined the meal - same as every family event. She's turned very bitter and twisted since my Grandad died and it's hard on all of us but at the same time it's infuriating.

Can't wait to tell dp what he's got!

OP posts:
Mistletoo · 12/12/2005 20:20

sorry - you've just made me laugh - old folk are funny aren't they!

harpsiheraldangelssing · 12/12/2005 20:21

it is hard Zephyr
I have a few bitter and twisted's to deal with myself
keep smiling and keep venting and keep saying to yourself:
it's not me, it's her...

mazzystar · 12/12/2005 20:22

zephyr - how on earth can that ruin christmas?

(feels slightly wistful for lack of dotty rellies to get crap gifts from)

jinglinggoblin · 12/12/2005 20:23

i cant wait to be a mad old cat lady

i will always wear purple and have very long hair in a bun and the local children will tell stories about me being a witch

Original poster
OnZephyrstDayofXmas · 12/12/2005 20:23

I feel guilty now for saying I'm angry about it - which is another thing that makes us all angry, we all end up feeling the bad ones!!
My Mum works at the doctors practicallyu on my nan's doorstep so she's alwys hassling my Mum and everyone used to have a go at my Mum for being mean about her but now they know what she's like the doctors even say to my Mum that they don't want to see her!!

I'm not horrid really, honest!!!

OP posts:
mazzystar · 12/12/2005 20:25

never thought you were horrid for a moment

thecattleareALOHing · 12/12/2005 20:41

Of course you aren't horrid Zephyr. I would be fed up too. But hey,maybe you are all in her will!

Original poster
OnZephyrstDayofXmas · 12/12/2005 20:42

Well that's another story - I've been written in and out of her will so many times I don't know any more!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
OnZephyrstDayofXmas · 29/12/2005 12:01

Well it turned out even worse than I imagined!!!
DP didn't get his fluffy socks - because she had realised they were 'bed socks' - um, did she buy them thinking he'd wear them to work??!! pmsl!!

Instead, she had bough ds a set of cars that were so cheap and nasty they have all fallen apart already... when she decided not to give dp the socks she also decided that the cars were a bit old for ds so gave them to dp as his present!!!

For dd's birthday present she gopt a plastic necklace set that you wouod get from somewhere like the poundshop and when I got home I realised that she hadn't even bothered to give her a birthday card

Yet she sat there all day going on about all the wonderful things we had given her. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Rant over!!

OP posts:
hoolagirl · 29/12/2005 13:16

My gran was like this (not the present thing) but could ruin anything with her nasty moods! Anyhow, i think with regard to the present thing that obviously when they were younger, presents would have been thin on the ground i would imagine and they would have been grateful for anything, so maybe she just hasn't moved on from that? Old folk can be funny about money and are probably much more careful about splashing the cash!
Maybe she geniunely doesn't realise .... ?

Twiglett · 29/12/2005 13:44

well now you know how come she has so much money

New posts on this thread. Refresh page