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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Coming through a split after abuse and Lundy's book!

7 replies

craftyknickers · 08/09/2011 18:53

It has been three weeks since I left and things are looking so good.

In 18 months he has: emotionaly abused, sexually abused, put in hospital, broke my arm, broke my cheekbone and took away any self-esteem I had. I am so proud of how I have recovered from this. I have really surprised myself!!

I dont feel even remotley tempted to go back, he has contacted me a few times and I have ignored him.

Im re-building my life getting back to my old self. I have got my old friends back and I am having fun. I am free from control, free to have my own opinions and free to speak to whom I like. I have control of my own life now.

I looked at the photo of my black eye today, it was worse than I thought. I looked terrible! That just confirmed that I am doing the right thing.

For anyone considering buying Lundy Bancroft's book.....BUY IT!!!
It is so accurate I am shocked by some of the things he says. It has made me realise what he really is. Having the knowledge that its not my fault and the things that he called me are common in abuse is empowering. It means I no longer need to make excuses for him. He is an abuser and nothing I ever do or say will change that.

All that and I havent finished it yet!!

OP posts:
HerHissyness · 08/09/2011 19:13

Grin - Told ya didn't I!

It's a hugely liberating and very kind book for those that have suffered at the hands of abusers.

MangoMonster · 08/09/2011 19:19

Congrats, just make sure he doesn't get to you when you think he can't anymore, guards down and all that.

craftyknickers · 08/09/2011 19:20

:D you did Herhissyness

Im so glad I joined MN without you guys I would never have got to this. From reccomending the book to reassuring me you have all been great!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 08/09/2011 19:28

Congratulations for reclaiming your life

craftyknickers · 08/09/2011 19:42

just need to find a job now, but thats easier said than done!

OP posts:
HumanBeing · 08/09/2011 22:18

Well done Crafty - it's truly amazing that book. I love it with all my heart.

And congratulations on the liberation Smile

tallwivglasses · 08/09/2011 22:32

You've come a long way in such a short time. Well done!

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