This is really making me down and I don't know how to change things except run away, that I'm constantly thinking of doing.
During the day my "partner" (whatever he is) goes to work full time and I have LO who's starting school next week. She's mostly a good, intelligent and creative girl but she's often changed when her dad is home. She seems to hate me when dad is in the house. She hits me, spits at me, calls me names, tells me to go away, screams angrily at me and tries causing trouble for me. I think she's like this because she knows I don't get on with her dad. If I tell her off, and say "will you stop doing that!" he interferes, moans at me, assumes I'm the one causing trouble and cuddles her, like showing her he's coming to the rescue. When he's gone to work, my LO is another child who loves me. Does this make sense?
So at weekends, which I hate now, partner is at home and LO prefers him and she tries to upset me all the time. I avoid them by leaving the house for long periods so I'm not there. I wonder off to the fields and parks, on my own, I sometimes cry if no one is around, and I wonder to myself why partner and LO hate me.
I don't know how else to descibe this. I don't drive and haven't got any friends. I can describe myself as isolated.
With regards to my partner, I don't think he likes me at all. I don't think he likes my personality or anything. I feel really unattractive. I get nervous when I talk to him as he thinks I'm stupid and he ends up getting cross. He accuses me of causing arguements. He thinks I have a problem and blames a lot of things on me. He can't forgive me for being a weirdo when I had PND a few years ago. Back then I lost touch with reality and felt so paranoid that I phoned the police about him after we argued. He won't forget that and keeps reminding me of it. I don't know what to do. I think I should leave and start again on my own somewhere out of touch with people. I wonder also if I'm a bad person and never noticed it before.