SAHM's and feeling left out...

[SHHHHsantaiscoming]

Does any other sahm feel like me and left out..?? Everyone seems to be having christmas parties...dh is self emp but even goes out with friends who are also self emp and who he's worked with in the past and also goes out with the permenant staff who work at where he is based now..Apparently no-one ever brings their wife/partner. I'm a sahm and dd is 7 months but I feel a little left out...when is my christmas party..?? Dh keeps promising me but..........maybe dd & I should go out for christmas lunch . Anyone else feel the same or just me!!?

im with you there SHHHH although this year DH hasnt gone to his because he cant drink because of painkillers he is taking! Of all the reasons its because he cant drink!

MAybe we need our own online xmas party.... get the DH's to remove the children for 8 hours and get ratted on here?!

once the kids are in school, you will have lots and lots of christmas parties
does your antenatal grooup do one?

i remember one friday evening when the highlight of my evening waa s the woman who phoned trying to sell me double glazing

jarm thats a good idea!!!! I know mn do arrange a meetup but I live northwest so it's impossible. But an online christmas do sounds like the answer!!! Can't do tonight as dh is out with the lads..yawwwnnn...so I am on baby duty!!!
stitch my m&b group have arranged one but I have only been to the session once..put my name down but haven't been back since . Things have been mega busy at home recently and the group meets every 2 weeks. AND although I am a good mixer with people I find myself coming away from the group loving it and wanting to meet up again. BUT once home for some reason I panic about the next meet up. I think it's because I'm not a teenager any more and am so much more aware of people and their opinions iykwim...Suppose I am new to this and 7 months isn't that long a time to be a professional yet!! Maybe next christmas may be beter..??? Thanks for your posts, glad that I am not the only one who feels like this.

lol stitch.
I can go for weeks in Turkey talking to noone but dh,the children and errrrr....you lot.

LOL at the double glazing woman! DH doesn't seem to realise or understand the fact that I sometimes go shopping just to actually speak to someone ..!

oh me too. dh's christmas do were a total pain when i HAD to go (way back when.......) but now they are no partners....I feel very left out. sahm's just dont get parties!!! i used to buy more than one party dress and have invites to nice places.......now please! a party dress???? to what wash up in?
am feeling alittle sorry for myself, dont mind me! (am also 38wks pg and that not helping the left at home feeling!!!)but wanted to say its not just you. suspect things will pick up when children are older and you get to be 'you' again.

Well, I work f/t and have no parties this year either. Like last year, and the year before...

But I agree, work parties should definitely include partners if it's an evening do.

ooh - I said this to dh just the other day! The only thing I miss about work in the Xmas parties. I've managed to get an invite to go on my ex-colleagues Xmas party next Tuesday and I've decided that me and dd are going to go out and have our own work lunch.

SHHH.....
I remember feeling exactly that when my 3 were little and I wasa SAHM. So myself and friends at our local toddler group organised a Xmas lunch at someomes house- all brought something (and kids of course). it became a regular thing- extended to about once amonth or so taking turns to be the house! I recall at one stage we had 21 children in the house and all the mims still stay in touch even though many of our kids are now in high school. We still do the Xmas lunch but have progressed to going out now not tied with little ones. try get together with other mums- it doen't have to be loads of work even if it's just wine and mince pies it keeps you sane.
Incidently where in northwest are you? We have MN meet ups in the north too. (I'm Huddersfield but there are loads around Manchester etc)Having little ones does not mean you cannot live a little honest!

disslocated - that's a BRILLIANT idea. I am feeling a bit isolated as well, as a SAHM days can go by when I don't speak to anyone apart from ds and our dog (dh often works late & travels for work). I am going to go out for a Christmas lunch with ds and the dog. lovely idea.

We should have a mn christmas party online!

I can totally relate to this too. TBH when working I never really enjoyed the obligatory work socials but now that I feel "out of the loop" I really miss the pointless gossip and the headaches worrying about what to wear and how many taxis we need to order etc etc
We have a PTA dinner - not going as I don?t fit into any of my posh frocks (too fat) and there is a Playgroup Christmas Do next week - not going as it clashes with a work do of DHs which he booked in first and he really should be there. Double whammy really - hardly any invites and those that I get, family responsibilities get in the way AGAIN or I feel to frumpy to join in the fun
I love the idea of a Christmas working lunch. My dad is retired and has arthritis so can?? drive any more (can?t hold the steering wheel for long periods of time) so I will take him and DD2 out for lunch. Thanks for that suggestion, it is brilliant and will really lift the week for me. I think I will go to the local garden centre which has a better than average restaurant and is totally non smoking. Thanks

DissLocated I agree, what a brilliant idea. I think I will arrange dd & my christmas lunch now!!! I'm glad its not just me who is feeling this way,I didn't want to mention it to my RL friends as they are not SAHM and I know their response will be "well get back to work" .That seems to be the response to all things concerning dd...Each to their own...

Maturer..I live Chorley. Didn't realise that mn meet ups happen up here as well...will have to look at the relevant threads/board.Thanks.

I felt like that for the last 2 years but this year I've been to dd's playgroup mums xmas party, dd has a party there next week and the other week I went to the Yorkshire MN xmas meal.

If I'd not joined MN or taken dd to playgroup I wouldn't have gone on any.

SHHH....
Look on meet-ups
There is one in Manchester this coming Sunday lunch time- it's a bring kids too if you want/have to.
It's the Cliffrichard.......... thread!!!

Sort your own out with a few of your friends one evening (dh can babysit surely?)

hi

i feel a bit left out too sometimes. my dh works for a big place and he has several xmas nights out - i say nights out but they begin at lunchtime.

my dh also has his own company - he does 'homers' and he started a ltd company to cover this. my name is down as the company secretary - for legal purposes

what we do is have a 'company' night out - me and dh! we have our own works xmas party

it helps a wee bit

SHHH...I feel exactly the same and I work full time!! I work in a training establishment with the majority of staff being military. Term finishes on Fri 16th and they all disappear and that's it, the place is dead, no christmassy atmosphere at all!! Makes it worse that DH is going to his work do on Fri eve at a posh hotel in Henley (black tie etc) but no partners allowed so I'm at home with Sky Plus...again .

I think it's so wierd that partners aren't allowed! Makes you wonder what the rationale for this is....

HMC - isn't it just?! Henley is a fair way from here as well so they have the option to stay over in the hotel at a reduced rate which plays havoc with my naturally jealous and suspicious nature DH did this last year (and is doing the same again this year) which will ensure a rather restless night for me and my imagination!! Everything is paid for by the company so I guess they are trying to keep down costs and ensure that all the employees "bond" rather than sit with their respective guests all night but it would be nice for partners to have the option to go and pay if they did. Harumph!

my dh works in a place which is full of 'tree-huggers' and 'basket-weavers' (his words not mine) and he says spouses not allowed incase it makes those without spouses feel inferior or left out (this rule was made by his old spinster of a boss no doubt)

plus it is paid by the company so they like to be tightfisted

Misspiggy - I'm sure they are not all planning a big shagfest - and it will remain harmlessly flirty, but tbh green eyed monster that I am I wouldn't even like the idea of the 20 year old from Accounts flirting with my dh at his Christmas shindig (although he is too old, tired and past it to act upon it!).

You're right - probably cost cutting and 'team building'!

LOL at Nailpolish! Your poor DH - doesn't that sound like a super-fun Xmas party? Does he have to take his own raffia for the party games?! HMC - I know, but even thinking about the harmless flirting has me on the cover of the Xmas edition of Chat with my "Cheating husband stuffed more than the turkey at work Xmas party" seasonal story! Must stress that DH is lovely and says that the thought of "playing away" never even crosses his mind.

nailpolish LOL!!! To funny!! Well DH also has a ltd company & i'm the secretary, I keep hinting and asking after a christmas do...he says "oh yeah I get £x amount towards expences"...I'm still waiting....may just sit in the lounge tonight with a cracker and party hat waiting for him to come home.
MMmmm he manages to arrange a night out with the lads quicker than he can with me .

I agree with the bit about office parties..why do companies insist that its company staff only..?? Ours were the same once taken over by a large bank,no more partners allowed and the meals had to be eaten sat in your allocated seat..free wine..then bosses wonder why so many people who work with each other are s@@@@@@g each other ..! Not my cup of tea but each to their own.