Now separated from H. Clearing through the study found some old holiday snaps of his ex from long ago. Didn't shred them!!
Later on, whilst emailing photos from his PC of DS so i could have them, came across (OK, looked for, but it was an open PC) emails from ex from last year when he had met up with her. I knew about this at the time and grudgingly allowed it as it was meant to be a 1 off and in regard to a particular matter.
I emailed her asking if there had been more to the meet ups than just as people who had once known each other as I could not be sure that he had told me the whole truth. She replied none of her business, so I then emailed saying that by sneaking around with a man she knew was married she had made it her business and left herself open to accusations of having an affair with him, bearing in mind that 1 affair had come to light so why not more.
She then emails him to complain and he is saying I was bang out of order (OK I was) and has given her bruised feelings more weight over the fact that I had found out there was more to it than he had let on and been deeply hurt by his actions. Previously in the first few years of being married she had contacted him and he had said thanks, but no thanks, as he had suspected she still had feelings for him.
OK, I shouldn't have looked; OK I was stupid to email her, but why do you think he is giving her feelings more weight than those of the woman he married.