I learned my husband was having multiple affairs about this time last year. Some over the internet, some emotional connections with women colleagues, some were physical ? kissing - he maintains they were not sexual. When I first learned about them, I thought we had something worth saving so after chatting, I decided to give him another chance and we agreed to try again with counselling etc. However, after a few more months, it became clear that he wasn?t really willing to change and our relationship was over.
At that time, I had recently changed jobs and a colleague had begun to show a bit of interest in me. I told my husband about him and he made it clear he considered our marriage was over and he just hoped we could keep it all ?amicable.? As a result of this discussion, I started seeing this other man. When I came home the first time after being out with him (my husband knew where I had gone), my husband met me at the door in tears and begged me for another chance. I didn?t give it to him. I moved out of the house, initially staying with this other man, but eventually I broke it off with him and moved into my own rented accommodation last March.
Since March it has been a constant onslaught of my husband begging me for another chance and promising it will be different. I feel I have tried everything. At first, I met up with him and considered giving him another chance. We even went to counselling. But I found out about more indiscretions. Then I asked him to leave me alone. He stopped texting and emailing me but started sending me presents at work ? flowers, cards, bath salts. Finally, 6 weeks ago I told him that I wanted a divorce. I saw a solicitor and we went so far as to agree grounds for the divorce so it could go through smoothly. I thought I had made a lot of progress in moving forward and I was just waiting for pay day to send through the petition. However, last night I went back to the marital home to see if we could discuss how to split the finances. Being at the house was a mistake ? it instantly brought back so many memories and emotions and instead of discussing finances, I broke down in sobs and he ended up consoling me and telling me we could make it work. He sent me a text this morning and I know he must feel like there is some hope. I feel like all the hard work I had done in moving forward over the past 6 months was all undone.
Will I ever be able to move on? Has anyone been through something similar?