Court of Mumsnet needed - your opinions please

[MeerkatsUnite]

I have an issue that I wish to submit to the Court of Mumsnet for your wise judgment.

It is as follows:-

Mr Meerkats has known this couple for many years (they have been friends since leaving school) now and they have a daughter who is now six years of age. Their DD will turn seven next month. We have a son who is 7.

I myself only see this couple socially for an occasional meal - like once every six months or when one of them has a birthday. We do not mix at any other time. My DH sees her husband for a drink on a semi regular basis but this has also been going on for years.

Usually I buy a present for their daughter (at my DH's insistence) and they reciprocate. However, this year I do not want to buy a present. Our children do not mix at all (they go to different schools) and socially do not see each other. TBH I would not recognise her if she was not with her Mum. I cannot remember the last time I saw her daughter face to face.

So Court of Mumsnet I wish to have your opinions on all this and await your response with interest.

no, no present
would probably tell the mother I was not going to buy one though, so she knows not to reciprocate
you could tell her that you are trying to cut back ont he commercialism etc
or that you are economising
whatever you feel happy doing

I would leave it to Mr Meerkat seeing as they seem to be more his friends anyway.

Id keep buying. It doesnt have to be anything big, just a box of writing paper, or bath salts or something like that.

I'm with hercules - Leave it to DH to deal with, they are his friends.

Is money an issue? If so, I wouldn't bother with a gift. If it isn't, get something little. (We always have crates of books from Book People or one of those, so there are easy cheap presents about ...)

Buy the present, they are good friends of your DHm that's why they get the present not because the children are friend between them. IMO the little price to be paid for a present it's woth it to keep the relationship as it is.

Get Mr Meerkat to mention that you aren't getting their dd anything - politely of course. I'm sure you've got enough to get without any additonal hassle. Tho maybe have a few standby pressies in case they turn up on your doorstep!

I think you should act within the Spirit of Christmas and buy the little girl a present AND the son! Even if it is just a book from the £1 shop. Christmas is all about giving. Keep up the Spirit of the Season and buy her a gift you meanie!

I personally wouldn't because I think it is a bit pointless. YOu don't see them, you don't see the child and you want to break the habit. I'm from the school of thought that children get so many christmas presents anyway it can all get a bit silly. I have told everyone but really close friends who see my kids all the time not to bother and we are just doing cards. If you buy for every child you have ever known even if you don't see them it just gets ridiculous. Having said that if your dh has strong feelings about it and feels they would be offended its not worth it and you might as well just buy something innocuous.