Hi not posted on here for a couple of months but feel that I wish to update you with where I am now. If you remember my story then great but if not here is a brief reminder.....
Been with H for nearly 30 years since aged 16. 3 children. Truly awful last couple of years with things starting to go wrong after birth of DC 3 (now 8). Tried hanging on in there for the sake of the kids but just could not carry on in the end. Suffered years of verbal abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse but thought this was normal, thought it was my fault!! Posting on here made me see differently and reading the Lundy Bancroft book just really made me see that I was not and am not responsible for his actions. I grew strong and realised that it is for the kids that I was to do what I ended up doing............
I actually managed to get him OUT!!!!! he has been gone 2 months now!!!! I have gone through all sorts of emotions. Guilt, fear, failure, tears (so many tears), remorse, embarassment, loneliness you name it all the possible emotions I've had them all....
HOWEVER I have done the right thing. I am happy, the kids are happy. There is fun and laughter and love back in our home. The awful atmosphere has gone. It is not a loveless home any more - we have done it!!!!!
For all of you in the same situation then dig deep. If I can do it then anyone can I promise. Only you know when the time is right though. It is certainly not easy to end a relationship especially a long term one when children are involved. I stayed far longer than I should have because I truly believed that marriage was for life and that kids deserve to live with both parents but do you know what????? That is only the right thing to do when the parents are happy, where their is love and respect and laughter and fun NOT when their is abuse and anger and hurt. That is no way for anyone to live.
Thank you all for your support and help - couldn't have done it without you!!!!