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Original poster

Lightbulb moment re. self-blame

12 replies

BibiBlocksberg · 26/08/2011 12:26

I?ve just realised (at the grand old age of 36) that I don?t HAVE to take full blame & responsibility for every single mistake I make in life and then afterwards ?flog? myself so it feels I?ve done some sort of ?penance? ? or waiting for some sort of punishment to be dished out from whoever has been affected by my error.

The lightbulb moment came today after a work meeting about an error I made which could easily have been avoided.

And nobody would let me take all of the blame (the bastards :))

No wonder I ended up with the relationships (men) that I did - I was desperate to be punished and they were happy to provide it (sounds s&m but you know what mean, hopefully)

?Normal? people don?t have an overwhelming need to be punished for every mistake they ever make ? do they??

OP posts:
garlicnutter · 26/08/2011 12:44

No, they don't. It took me even longer to work that one out!!
With hindsight, it made me a bit too harsh on other people's mistakes, too.

Well done, you :) That'll make life quite a bit pleasanter, won't it?

Katisha · 26/08/2011 12:53

How's it going with the monosyllabic boss Bibi?

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 26/08/2011 16:01

"That'll make life quite a bit pleasanter, won't it?"

Mmh, yes, it should do once I've properly thought this through. I have been very very harsh on my own mistakes and similar with others error's as well like you say Garlic Blush

"How's it going with the monosyllabic boss Bibi?"

He's just back from a two week holiday so fairly well disposed towards me. We'll see if it lasts :)

OP posts:
Katisha · 26/08/2011 16:23

And are you taking Proper Lunch Breaks?

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 26/08/2011 17:10

Sorry, manic here - no to lunch breaks, all sorts of heart rending reasons including v lazy part-time colleagues, late post, deadlines, yadda yadda yadda.

I'm still doing myself over basically.

OP posts:
Quodlibet · 26/08/2011 17:15

As a good friend of mine once said, 'yes, OK, recognise you've made mistakes. But don't then take those mistakes and cram them repeatedly into your eyes until you bleed'. Made me laugh but he's got a point.

Katisha · 26/08/2011 17:18

OK next challenge for the New Improved Bibi.
Tackle the lazy part-timers - you can't be picking up their work for them surely?

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 26/08/2011 18:58
OP posts:
abbscrosswoman · 26/08/2011 19:20

Assuming you have made it clear to the part-timer that their 'laziness' and inability to do the job properly is unacceptable, why have you not let her go ?

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 26/08/2011 19:23

God no, that would be classed as well out of order to be so direct. Plus she's worked there a long time (in another section) and is friends with the boss.

what a fool I really am.

OP posts:
Katisha · 26/08/2011 19:27

Seen anything else to apply for yet?

Anyway, 'tis friday night. Join me in some Wine

Cheers!

Original poster
BibiBlocksberg · 26/08/2011 19:33

Cheers indeed, I'm going to out myself if I do much more bitching about work anyway.

Wine Wine Wine oblivion by 7.45pm :)

OP posts:
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