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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Right, waiting for him to come home. mr nice or twat?

33 replies

123namechange · 25/08/2011 23:13

Hi,

H is an alcoholic.
He wont admit it but he is.
He gets drunk every eveing now and is somtimes abusive when drunk.

I am planning to leave but need to wait a couple of weeks.

I just need to get through the here and now, like tonight.

My plan for tonight is to keep out of his way and avoid rising to any bait. If that dosnt work I will call the police.
I'v never called them before. Have always been to ashamed and wanted to gloss over the problem, hoping for it to go away.

I dont really know what I want by starting this thread, I supose its like telling somone about my troubles. I have noone to tell in RL.

Any way thankyou for reading.

OP posts:
Jux · 27/08/2011 23:24

Umm, why are you moving yourself and your dc out of your family home? Surely it would be easier if he were to move out? He would need to find a one-bed flat; you would need to find a two/three-bed flat/house, preferably with some outside space etc etc.

Exactly how reasonable is he actually being?

Original poster
123namechange · 27/08/2011 23:31

I dont want to stay in this house.
I'm isolated (we are in the sticks) and away (300) miles from my friends and family.
I have noone here and have not spoken to my friends for about a year.

I would like to have a fresh start and a life.
Atm my life is in these four walls and maybe a trip to the supermarket if I'm luckey.

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 27/08/2011 23:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
123namechange · 27/08/2011 23:43

Hes back now and I can see hes resentful.

I'm not at risk as he cant stay awake.

I'm going to call my mil tomorrow and she will be heart broken Sad
I dont want to lose her, she is the closest thing to a mother I have (my own is toxic).
God I feel so alone and pathetic.
I'm pretty, yongish (28) and used to be clever and personable -I am dyslectic so sound a bit thick on here though lol!

I was a single Mum to a 5yr old when we met.
I was studdying to be a nurse and was happy with lots of friends.
Yes I was in a council flat and skint but me and my boy were happy.
I'm pleased I have my beautiful DDs, but wish I had a life as well.

The thought of being out there on my own scares me now and I hate it.

OP posts:
Original poster
123namechange · 27/08/2011 23:51

Hey TSC!

I remember you from the july bord (I've obv name changed lol!).

He is trying to make me beleive that I'm the one with the problem. I hade pnd and got freaked out when he drank -went out 8h after DD was born, leving me and older dcs at home to cope whils he got pis**d! I just wanted to rest and not cook bloody tea!!

I've decided to tell and not keep it all in now.
God help me.

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 27/08/2011 23:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HerHissyness · 28/08/2011 00:03

You are doing the right thing, secrecy is 99% of the power that drives a relationship like this.

I know what it's like to be totally isolated with a baby, so whatever you need to keep your spirits up, I'll do my best!

Jux · 29/08/2011 17:08

123namechange, I see.

Yes, tell everyone. Move out; go back to your friends and family. Start afresh. It won't be anything like as scary as you think it is, and you'll have a great time contacting your friends again and getting back into the flow.

Absolutely the very best of luck.

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