Hi all, I am here now and again so some of you may remember me, but anyways quick background, husband and I split nearly 2 months ago, we have four young dc together.
This morning on the phone, he asked me if I would consider letting him be a stay at home dad to the kids. As in they live with him and not me. Now my natural reaction was total horror, having 4 dc is hard work but I love them to death. I couldnt imagine being the one that visits, or takes them over night at weekends.
However, he asked me to give it serious consideration and I am trying to do so by not being selfish and trying to consider what would really be best for the children.
He lives in the country. I live in a dodgy area of town. Only last week someone tried to break into my house. He has transport, I dont, which makes it very difficult for me to have extra curricular activities for the older two, especially as I have the younger two to manage. He has also always been in my eyes, the better parent. Dont get me wrong I am by no means a bad parent, but he has always been the more understanding, patient one where I have been the firm authorative one. The older two girls adore their dad and have started to say how much they miss him. The eldest has said once or twice that she wishes she lived with her dad because she misses him.
I was brought up by my dad. But it was a very different story. My mother was neglectful and my dad was given sole custody. She disappeared out of my life when I was two and came back into it when I was a teen... it was very difficult. Although I know that if....IF i was to really consider his offer, it wouldnt be like that, I have always felt kids should be with their mother.
I really dont know what to do. If I consider it from an outsider point, he could provide them with a better life. If I look at it from being their mother, I just cant imagine not being with them all the time. Any advice here?