The secrets of happy co-habitation - what are your top tips?!

[twirlingaroundthechristmastree]

My bf is about to move in with someone for the first time...they are a professional couple, late 30's.

She asked me(!) for my best tips on happy cohabitation - what would you have said?

when you are arguing never interrupt the other person, let them finish talking and making their point

and once a month you can BOTH say something about the otehr person that annoys you without the other person getting annoyed and you both have to TRY to do something about it

oh and get a cleaner

be prepared to ignore wet towels on the bed...
Loo seats up,
empty jars put back in cupboards,
ditto loo rolls,
dirty washing missing the basket by 4 inches
My list could go on and on!!!!

wash your ownclothes
alternate the cooking and the washing up
realise rather quickly that we are individuals and therefore he/she doesn't have to spend every spare moment actually being with you in the house.
trust
independence
keep your own back account
save up money in case things go wrong
dont have joint debt
put the debt in his name
keep your name on the tenancy and only your name
trust hiom to go out
respect him as he should respect you
remember your not his mother or his maid

go out on dates (together obv)

Yeah, def most important thing is mixture of Custards and mazzystar's - keep dates together, even if just doing something together at home like watching a film, and respecting each other's space at home also.
I lived with ex for 4 years and I think it worked really well because he worked some nights so was away for 1/3 of the week so we got space from each other...
I can't actually imagine living with someone who is in every night, would drive me up the wall !

Agree the financials first
Get a cleaner

Sort the financials and cleaning stuff from day one and don't suddenly start wearing sad old underwear if you usually wear fancy knickers

always allow your partner to organise the kitchen cupboards

2 laptops and wireless broadband

tell partner why thay are fab every now and then

try to keep having sex
while you're still having sex, you have tolerance for lots of trivial stuff
once you stop, everything annoys you

God Harpsi that is so true...

My advice:

Remember your relationship isn't breaking down just because you fancy a break from him and he perhaps from you.

Harpsi that's true even if you're not living together!

I agree with what everyone else has said and just want to add to have a life of your own too. Keep going out occasionally with your own friends, to the gym, shopping whatever but do stuff without your partner.
Plus don't nag. If you get annoyed at, say, your partner not helping with the cleaning don't have a go, just subtly change them by asking them to help and then praising eg 'thanks for doing the hoovering. I really appreciate it when you tidy up' or 'its so nice when you cook for me as youre a really good cook'
It works and they won't even know what you're doing

oh no!

you must never EVER thank them for cooking or cleaning

because then they think you are admitting its your job

but there are other ways of showing appreciation

Hit the nail on the head there Harpsi

Supporting each other with regard to the kids, not taking sides.....

...oh and whoever goes to bed first...warming the bed

Yes, I see your point Mazzystar but unfortunately men are men and some tend to think that way.
And you only have to show your appreciation a few times before the men are programmed.
How about not thanking them and just saying 'great job!' or something along those lines?

I agree with you Sai. Men like to feel appreciated and its better than nagging them to do things.

I always say thanks if DP does the washing up or gets the kids to bed.....not necessarily because its my job to do these things but because I appreciate that he will do these things without me having to ask him.