Am in a really crappy situation. DH has an overwhelming porn habit. He stays up til god knows what time every night watching it, and can't keep awake in the day. I am vehemently anti porn (He know's this) But still can't/won't stop, or talk about it.
Please don't try to tell me that porn is ok/harmless/beneficial to some couples. That discussion is for another time. To me it is woman-hating exploitation of the worst kind, that blunts and distorts normal sexual response (I am prooof of that
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the problem first came to my attention probably 5 years ago, maybe more. We had stopped having sex. Sex has always been a difficult issue for us. I was always really important to me in previous relationships, but with him just a bit, well, crap. No chemistry, no effort made by him, and he just seemed to want it over quickly, ie just penetration and no intimacy. I found this really frustrating, confusing and upsetting. So we stopped. About once a year we 'try again', and have sex maybe 6 times over a few weeks, then i get frustrated again, because it is crap, and he won't talk about it or try to change.
We have tried many times to address this, two lots of couple counselling and I have had counselling on my own.
I thought we had reached a sort of sexless compromise (we have 1 ds, who's 9). Not ideal, but happy enough in other ways (or so I thought), but now he says we should split up as not right for each other.
My issue is, I don't know if i want this. I do not want rock ds's world, upheaval, poverty, uncertainty. Definite poverty. I'm not really sure if it's what he wants either (i'm his second wife)
My question is, would specific sex therapy help him? I don't know what to say to him, I'm just in a daze. Thanks for all and any help and advice.