How to deal with a husband like this?

[Horsemad]

Husband has a very absorbing hobby, he is obsessed with (gets plenty of time to do his hobby). Yesterday, I had to forcefully insist that he participated in a 'family day' (youngest DC had asked if we could do something together as a family). Husband had been very noncommital about participating.

He didn't argue, we went and did our family thing had a good time, everyone enjoyed it. We got back home after a few hours out and all drifted off to our own thing; because one of the DC and myself wanted to go online, he disconnected the modem (which he bought) and refused to let us go online as it was apparently a 'family day' and in his words, he 'wasn't going to have us surfing when it was a 'family day'.'

Is he being unreasonable or not? He reinstated the modem late last night and I haven't seen him today as he's on nights so had left when I got home from work.

I feel aggrieved on several counts:

I rarely pressure him to spend time doing family stuff, so felt he could have put his hobby to one side for an afternoon.

I pay the internet connection bill, so feel miffed about this too!

And finally, what kind of example does this set to impressionable teens? If they did the 'it's mine so you are not using it' thing, I'd be telling them where they were going wrong!

Still feeling cross 24hrs later and will have to tackle this tomorrow.

MJ, yes, I've spent a fair few times in nature reserves, but honestly, they get sooooooo boring after a while. I'm perfectly happy for him to do his thing, but feel occasionally he could participate in REAL LIFE! (with his DC and DW)

Curious, sounds like you are well out of it!

Next time he has a 'hobby day' doing his boring thing, make sure there is:

1. no dinner waiting (it is a hobby day - if HE is enjoying downtime so are you all)

1. no laundry - ditto

1. no anything else for his benefit

How sad that he clearly saw spending time with his own family as a chore, and one that made him so irrationally angry he acted like a spoilt little brat to everyone else.

Twat indeed!

Oh and next time he unplugs the modem or does anything else so bloody controlling and aggressive - leave the house. Come back when you have an apology!

Yes am well out of it, that's true. If your dh is ok otherwise then that's a blessing. Luckily I found a man, dp, who isn't selfish and boring and am very happy now

I guess that he could be considered to be ok in the main, but he needn't think he's starting this sort of behaviour!

Shouty, he is a twat and any other derogatory word I can think of! I refused to cook him any dinner last night, told him to sort himself.

He is a petulent control freak and a bully.

at garlicbutter. Yes, total twat. Try taking his trowel/binoculars/brass rubbing kit away next time.