Are we unreasonable with my Mother?

[Easy]

As some of you know, dh is working away during the week atm, so we only get 2 days a week together. He is stopping work on Wed, 21st dec for Christmas, and hopefully will get home about 8:30 p.m. I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening together, then some frantic wrapping and errand running on Thurs morning.

Anyway, my Mother is coming to us this Christmas, and said she was going to arrive on Wednesday (she lives about 2 1/2 hours away, and drives herself here). I asked if she would like to come on Thursday instead, as we had a few things to do. We anticipate she'll stay a week.
She's gone off at the deep-end, saying she's not welcome, anyway we should really go to her as she's an old woman blah, blah. She even rang me back to say I should book her on the coach for Friday, to go back on Tuesday if she's not wanted (which would have inconvenienced everyone, my sis taking her to coach station at that end, us having to collect her at this end etc).

Am I really out of order wanting some time alone with my husband before the xmas chaos begins?

Easy I am sure you know you are not. But mothers do tend to push those guilt buttons. I'm think you should be taking your own advice from the other thread. I'm sure you posted "sod 'em" on a family thread this evening.

Sorry that should have read "I think" and it was the Bloody Families thread.

easy no you are not wrong to want to spend time on your own before your mum comes to stay
just explain the situation
xxx

I did, you are right. But yes, she is trying to make me feel guilty.

My sis has said "oh no, don't make her not come to you, as she'll come to us again this year, and frankly I don't need it."

Earlier this year she said she'd like to spend Xmas on the Q.E.2. If I could win the lottery, I'd send her!!

doormat, she doesn't think her being here interfertes with us at all.

Nope.

just tell her you asked if she minded coming a day later. you're not at all being unreasonable. esp as dh is away during the week. I hope I'm not like that when I'm a granny.

She sounds like my mum Easy. (also a 2.5 hour drive away and also coming for about a week around Christmas with her big stinking hairy dog which gives me asthma).

Can you explain to her that you want a bit of time with your dh. I know if I explained to my mum she wouldn't understand and would still push the old guilt buttons.

Do what you know to be right and ignore the guilt. Explain you're looking forward to seeing her but that you and dh need a bit of time to catch up with each other.

If she doesn't understand or accept that, there are plenty of hostels or Butlins type arrangements which might take late bookings.