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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Trial Seperations - Anyone Done This?

4 replies

Next · 06/12/2005 19:54

Hi, posted a few days ago have just seperated From DP, unsure if for good or temporary if we can work thru our problems. Has anyone been through this and got any advice? Very worried.

OP posts:

leogaela · 06/12/2005 20:13

I did, but I had already almost decided I wanted to leave as the relationship was destructive and abusive. I just needed time to sort out what I was going to do and be sure I was doing the right thing. It was 100% my decision to do it. We didn't have children.

Depends on the situation but some time away could be good so you can both relax, meeting up away from home can be refreshing. Be sure what your dp's intentions are. Does he want a trial separation really as a stepping stone to complete separation or is he commited to trying to make it work but just needs some time out.

romany4 · 06/12/2005 20:58

My dh and I had a trial separation a couple of years ago. We were apart for 5 months during which time, we saw each other twice a week and talked and sort of dated each other again.
We decided after 5 months that we were still in love and wanted to be together again.
That was 6 years ago and we`ve never looked back.
It made us realise how much we did love each other and made us sort out all our problems

Original poster

Next · 06/12/2005 21:06

Thank you.

Leogaela - it was me who initiated this - he is absolutley gutted about it.

OP posts:

nooka · 06/12/2005 22:15

I am currently seperated from dh. It's been about 2 months, and I am still hoping that it might be temporary. I'm not sure how realistic I am being - I finally agreed to dh moving out because he said he was hoping to emigrate! I thought well OK, not sure that it's worth refusing to let you go. However, we are now getting on much better than before (we have had quite a few "extra" visits in the evenings), and I am kind of hoping that if he gets his life and pride back together again we might have a chance at rebuilding. We would have been celebrating our 10th aniversary in 10 days time However, I do now feel much less worried about living on my own, as it has in general worked out fairly stress free, and the children are happy with their "two houses".

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