bloody families

[myermay]

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Arrgghh! What does DP say about it?

It sounds like his family have some growing up to do so I would tell them to either put up or shut up, but then I'm pretty bullish like that when people behave in this manner.

don't assume most families just get on happily. many don't. am a veteran of families which don't get on. there are loads of us around with dysfunctional families.

can you just not invite both sides of the family at once? and not necessarily go to the joint family events?

I personally would tell them all to grow up and stop being so childish as we don't have time to dilly dally about who is going to be where and who said what to whom. ARRGGGGGGG - Can you tell this type of thing annoys me ?

SCT - same here. I did this with my family when they split into factions. It (generally) worked.

can you just say that "whoever turns up" will be there?

My family are dreadful, they have no social skills and still don't speak to me over two years after I got married because they think I deliberately sat them in a bay window for the wedding breakfast, so they would be "far away" from the top table.

(I sat them there because it was the only table that would seat 14 people)

I've given up on the whole thing. I don't need the stress. Do you?

In my opinion the 'big happy family' is a myth.

frankly, after many years of trying to sort it out, I now say "sod 'em", and we do our own thing.

Myermay I feel for you. I have a similar problem but the other way round. My dh's family are perfectly sociable, normal friendly people. My family are sociopaths. (Well, my mum and my dad). My Mum and Dad are divorced and never speak so I have to carefully plan to avoid a meeting between them.

I'd love it if everyone could just get on but it doesn't work like that. I think you should invite who you want to invite, when you want to invite them, and they can sort out their own difficulties. Don't take their problems on board as you have enough to think about.

I'll endeavour to take my own advice now. I know it's far easier said than done.

Good luck.

My family and my dp family all sit in different rooms whenever we have a social function, and his family also sit in a different room from his sister's in law's as well, which made me feel better, so agree happy family is a myth.

why is it that Christmas brings out the worst in every family?! don't most of us have the same arguments every bloody year...probably because we feel we have to play happy families as it is Christmas despite neurotic passive aggressive parents and loopy in-laws? we've said sod them this year, hooray!