I literally feel 'stuck' and don't know where to go from here. Tp try and cut a long story short, I have been NC with my birth family for 5 years (apart from a little contact recently by letter only). I have seen various counsellors, read numerous books and feel I have come a very long way since I first started on this journey. I have worked through loads and loads of anger, pain, lonliness and various other emotions.
I don't know what else I should do or need to do but I feel there must be something I need to be doing to continue my recovery. I developed various physical illnesses as a result of the emotional damage done to me and I see recovering from my physical ailments as a sign of my emotional healing.
I want to write to my parents to tell them there is no possibility of ever resuming a relationship with them, but I keep making excuses to myself instead of just getting on and writing the letter. I don't know if it's a case of there being so much I want to write that I don't know where and how to start and the whole task just feeling too overwhelming. And I am also worried that once I start writing I won't want to stop but will have to in order to see to the DC's and I just don't like the idea of having to leave something that will inevitably stir up a lot of emotions halfway and then have to try and pick it up again later. So all I do is go over and over in my mind the sort of things I would write if I ever manage to actually sit down and write my letter.
I don't even know why I started this thread tbh. I doubt there's anything anyone can say to me. I just need to get on with it.