Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dp doesn't seem to want to get back in to work

12 replies

passingtime · 16/08/2011 12:22

Dp was made redundant recently and we figured out that it was best to stay out of work during the holidays as he would have been working for £25pw.

Now ds (not his child) will be staying with his dad until he goes back to school but dp doesn't seem to want to get back in to work.

I work really hard and am sick of watching every penny. I have printed off lists of jobs for him and even re done his CV. He has not rang a single one of the jobs yet.

I don't know what to do. We are going away camping in a few weeks and I don't want to take his daughters with us as I cant afford to pay for 3 children and actually enjoy the holiday with no money worries.

I feel like he is being a complete bum

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 16/08/2011 12:37

Well, why should you be paying for his children to go on holiday when he can't get up off his bum to find a job? You are not married, are you?

Why did his last job end? What's his reason for not applying?

Oh and I do hope nobody says "maybe he's depressed."

ImperialBlether · 16/08/2011 12:37

Sorry, just saw it was redundancy. How long had he worked there? What's his work record like?

cjbartlett · 16/08/2011 12:39

Just tell him what you've posted here

cjbartlett · 16/08/2011 12:39

Also don't think he'll be getting a job really soon either, there's loads of people in the same boat
Is he signing on?

Original poster
passingtime · 16/08/2011 13:37

ImperialBlether he was there for a year. It was always temporary anyway and there do seem to be lots of jobs in our area that he is qualified for, but everyday I get home and he hasn't rang a single one

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 16/08/2011 13:54

cjbartlett, why did you say that about telling him she's posting on here?

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions · 16/08/2011 13:56

Tell him what she has posted here, not tell him she is posting here.

Janeymax · 16/08/2011 14:28

Lots of blokes learn with a good consequence don't they ? Can you engineer nice natural consequences of h not working? Cutting back on treats, holidays? Him doing more Childcare/housework so you can work more? The trick is for him to feel the pain without it being your fault - but simply a consequence of his not working. Also, if he's not trying to get work and not talking about it perhaps he has been hit harder by the redundancy than you realize? Does he need counseling or other emotional support?

solidgoldbrass · 16/08/2011 14:35

Is he signing on? If he has been made redundant surely he is entitled to JSA. And in all fairness, it is hard to find a job at present - aren't there something like 50 applicants for every single position advertised?

BertieBotts · 16/08/2011 14:40

Well yeah, it's hard to find a job, but OP's DP isn't going to find one if he isn't looking at all.

Sorry, but he's not a child and he doesn't need a "consequence", he needs to be either contributing to the family income, or looking very hard for a job, or have a good reason why he's not working (looking after children, off sick, or studying for example - and aside from sickness, the other two can really only happen if you can afford for one partner to be doing this)

FabbyChic · 16/08/2011 22:48

If the trip will be a struggle on only one wage why not consider postponing it?

Tell your partner that you cannot afford for all of you to go away that the money is just not there. Talk to him and discuss it.

SingleMan25b · 17/08/2011 01:22

Maybe he's depressed....

New posts on this thread. Refresh page