I have just told my 10 year old that maybe he should go and live with his dad

[EternalPie]

Because at this very moment, I don't want to live with him anymore

He's nasty, rude, ignorent, violent - earlier he shouted "you fucking wanker" at the top of his voice in the garden whilst the neighbours were outside. He's constantly telling his brother to piss off or fuck off depending on his mood. His favourite words are faggit, gayboy, retard, dickhead etc

Yesterday he got sent to bed early for swearing. He sat defiant on the living room floor saying "make me" when told to go to bed. He then started saying "what you gonna do? you can't make me do anything, I'm going to sit here all night". This particular day I'd spent around £40 on him on a day out as a treat. I got so angry with him I shouted at him to get out of my sight. Tonight has been the same, sent to bed early for swearing so he's just been down here throwing my papers around and basically being horrible. I've just told him he should maybe think about living with his dad. He thinks I don't mean it but to be honest, I really do

did you make him go to bed? are you following threw with your punishments? getting him to go live at his dads will probably just make him feel pretty abandoned by you.

Oh dear :( it sounds pretty bloody awful for you.

Do you have any idea why he is like it & how/when it got so bad?

yes he's in bed now (well he's in his room anyway). I just don't know what to do anymore. He's always been difficult but he's getting worse. I could so see him being involved in the London riots at a later age. If there's trouble at school, he's always involved. I even changed him schools to get him a fresh start and the same thing happened.

eternal,you arent alone. but please,re post this in teenagers section where there are loads of us going through this stuff.

Have done :) thanks

He is really a very unhappy DS. Do you have contact with his father? Is it possible to work things out together?
I would suggest going into school at the start of term and talking to them. Get help. Parenting classes are a good idea. I think that you need outside help, I'm sure that you don't really want to give upon him but you do need help.

What sort of influence would his Dad have on him do you think? Could it work?

It does sound like he needs a firmer hand, and if his Dad would be able to do that, then it could work.

I say this because my stepson came to live with us when he was 14. He was behaving terribly at home, and his mother decided he might benefit from living with his Dad rather than a house full of females (he has a few sisters).

It did make a difference, and he calmed down a lot.

I would ensure his father talks to him, the way he is behaving suggests he is going to be a problem teenager getting into anything and everything and being trouble.