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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

dp is a PITA

20 replies

starandsnowshaker · 04/12/2005 21:40

last month dp said he wanted to get his best mate tickets to see fathless which was fine although i said he cant go on his own so he said get 2 and ill go aswell so i said ok and got the 2. i said would he mind if i went along if i got a babysitter and was told we dont have the money and it was just a night out for him and s. i understood this as its near his bday aswell. next thing i knew was i had to get 2 more tickets for his friends. anyway i let it go as it was a boys night out.

so last night they all went to the concert and i was stuck at home on my own all day (he had been at the football before) i said he should stay at s so he didnt wake me when he got home.

so today when i went to pick him up he has been a real grump and has been asleep on the couch pretty much since he got in. i just asked him what he wanted me to get him for his b-day and he took my head off saying to ask him tomorrow as he was tired.

i never spend any time with him hes either at work, football or asleep on the couch i think this is why we arent getting on very well.

sorry needed to moan

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starandsnowshaker · 04/12/2005 21:49

do u think im over reacting

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THOMCATsForLifeNotJustForXmas · 04/12/2005 21:53

No you're not overreaacting, not sure what the answer is but hope miserable selfish old Homer Meldrew sorts himself out asap. xx

starandsnowshaker · 04/12/2005 21:54

he really better dont know if i can take it much more

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falalaala · 04/12/2005 21:57

no you're not overreacting. your dp needs a rocket up his bottom. fair enough - we all need some time out, but it's not on to then be a grump all day the next day, having spent the entire day (and night) before doing exactly what he wanted, even if he tired. that effectively makes his one day 'off' from the kids into two.

do you ever go and do stuff on your own or is this a one way street?

sounds as though you need to do some stuff together to reconnect and communicate openly.

starandsnowshaker · 04/12/2005 22:01

nope been out once since dd was born and he made it a nightmare. we were nent to meet his friends but they let him down and said it was my fault and it was the worst nightout he had ever had. it was MY birthday. i ended up going home with my sister cos i couldnt handle being near him

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moondog · 04/12/2005 22:02

Starshaker,you've posted a fair bit about your bloke and tbh he sounds like a selfish arse.

Remembering what you said about him not wanting to come to your family's celebration of your birthday and not wanting you to go either in case it made him look bad.

Bloody hell...

SpaGlorytoBlog · 04/12/2005 22:04

Why are men such teenagers sometimes? I mean, grow up and stop being so self obsessed!

Poor you.

SpaGlorytoBlog · 04/12/2005 22:04

Why are men such teenagers sometimes? I mean, grow up and stop being so self obsessed!

Poor you.

SpaGlorytoBlog · 04/12/2005 22:04

oops

starandsnowshaker · 04/12/2005 22:06

yeah i have made so many sacrifices

moved away from friends and family
stopped working in the hotel (i loved that job but dd comes first)
going out
having a life
i could go on

and he has sacrificed nothing since dd has come along

its always got to be about him

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moondog · 04/12/2005 22:12

Hmmmm,think you need a big rethink...

kitegirl · 05/12/2005 07:59

I agree he's an arse.

starandsnowshaker · 05/12/2005 08:54

i know he is but i stay cos its easier

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Feistybird · 05/12/2005 08:57

Easy? Doesn't sound easy to me.

Sounds like you have 2 kids on your hands.

starandsnowshaker · 05/12/2005 09:00

its easy cos i would have nowhere to live and he has said he would fight for alana and i couldnt bear that

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feastofsteven · 05/12/2005 09:02

speak to CAB/benefits office, get advice as to what would happen financially if you did split. given that you aren't married, he is NOT going to get custody of your daughter.

please try and preserve ties with your family/friends, and if you have been isolated from them, get back in touch. this guy sounds like bad news.

Feistybird · 05/12/2005 09:02

D'you love him?
D'you think he loves you?

grumpyfrumpy · 05/12/2005 09:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kitegirl · 05/12/2005 09:21

Poor you. There is help and advice available. He is just trying to intimidate and control you - I think it would be very unlikely for you to lose custody of your daughter! I hope you have family or friends who you can go to for support.

starandsnowshaker · 05/12/2005 09:29

im on the waiting list for counceling but i want to go on my own to start with then him to come to i have told hime this but dont think it registered

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