Why can't he just be pleased for me ?

[NutcrackingXmas]

Was offered a permanent position tonight at work and I accepted and signed my contract, was given my discount card etc.

Came home and told my neighbour (who sits heer whilst dp collects me), and she was really pleased, said well done etc.

Dp however, is annoyed that I didn't ask him first and basically doesn't like it.

I am so p**d off, why can't he just say well done, good for you blah blah blah.

Well I'll say it "Well Done Nutty". That is great news.
He is probably glad you've got the job but just put out that you didn't ask him first. He'll get over it but when he does make him pay for a while - think you could get a few evening meals out of it and a few hours of cleaning

Thanks SC

I think he'll sulk for a good while yet though cos he never wanted me to even to it temporarily.

I just thought why not stay though. I don't do anything else of an evening, and if it makes us a bit better off then thats even better.
The people I work with are lovely too.

Do you think it is because he will be at home with the kids ?
I agree from the money point of view as I have suggested to DP n many ocassion that I go and get an evening job (pub/restraurant) but he doesn't like the idea. Very frustrating

That is aprt of the reason yes, but mainly it's because he doesn't like me being out, with other people and having a life of my own.

I haven't worked outside the home since I met him nearly 10 years ago, and thats the way he prefers it.

However I feel like I will go mad if I don't develop a life of my own.

congratulations nutty, im really pleased for you.
dont let that miserable old fool make you feel bad!

He just cant bear the thought of you having a life outside of the home. surely everybody benefits? extra income, cheap discounts for kids things and you are much happier beacuse you are making new friends ( thats the bit he doesnt like though isnt it?)

dont be bullied by him emma, you need a bit of time for you.

well done again ( i will be in for cheap stationary at some point!)

What an old goat!
Well done nutty-good for you.
As for 10 years at home...I'd have run amok with an axe by now. I've done 20 months as an sahm (10 to go!!!) and while I'm glad to have been around for my babies,it is bloody hard work.Like you,I really crave a life separate to domestic ties and duties.

Well done you !! Do you think he's a bit jealous of your "success" and worried that he is losing a bit of control over you and not being the sole source of household income. Let him sulk, if he can't be happy for you and see the benefits all round.

Congrats Nutty. Just think he is jealous. You deserve a bit of time to be something other than DP/mum.

Well done, Nutty

Well Done Nutty Youve took it now, theres nothing to argue about. If he doesnt want you to get a bit of a life back then tell him to get a life.
Well Done !!!!!!!!!!!!

Nut,

This part of your original message was worrying:-
"mainly it's because he doesn't like me being out, with other people and having a life of my own".

How many other aspects of your life does he try to control?.

Well done you for accepting the permanent position at work. Not surprised though to read that he does not like it - controlling men do not like their woman doing things without his say so. He therefore cannot say to you, "well done".

Thanks all for the congrats. I am so pleased, cos i never thought i'd find a job i actually liked doing. Obviously i don't want to do it forever but cvertainly until Ds starts school it will be perfect.

Dp would control every aspect of my life if I let him but thankfully I don't (although it may seem that way).

He is still being a right arsehole since i told him, but i really don't care.