No sex drive

[Ironmaiden]

If I never had sex again I wouldn't care. DH is wondering what's wrong and I dn't know what to tell him. He's not asked me outright but I don't know if it's him or me or my new life as a mum or what. I will do it to please him sometimes but get nothing out of it and then the next time he tries it on I want to say "God, we did it last week, what's wrong with you?" but I'm really wondering what's wrong with me?
I had a brief spell of wanting sex about 4 months after giving birth but it wore off and now I am completely devoid of desire. Just want sleep or a good read. He can't just cuddle either, it's all or nothing so we often lie there not touching, awake, very aware we are not having sex. Anyone got tips or similar situation?

Message withdrawn

Have things changed since pre-kids?

Yes, used to be a pretty hot couple! We are together 10 years so of course things were getting tired and old anyway, but I'm feeling pretty bad about myself since being pregnant, I've put on alot of weight and the last thing I feel is sexy.
Also, I feel he's being a little insensative and expecting too much of me, he says he's mad about me and loves the way I look but I think he's just making all the right noises cos he just wants a shag!! He's trying it on every night and the more he does the less I feel like it. Just feel pressured and feel like shouting about my needs! (Like sleep!)

Then shout about them, willies don't quite rule the world (much as blokes like to think otherwise sometimes). You feeling pressured is not going to achieve anything whatsoever. How old are your kids?

I was going to post this exact same thing.

Practically speaking - is there a female version of viagra or something that I could take to improve things.

I feel awful because I love my DH to bits, it's not him that's fuelling my lack of libido - I just dont have any sex drive whatsoever.

are you on the pill? that can dampen sexual desire (esp it seems - no medical proof - after having children for some reason)

From your post, it sounds like you have a bit of a low image of yourself at the mo. Perhaps (if you wanted) if you started doing a bit of exercise it might start to make you feel a bit better about yourself?

There's nothing like feeling unattractive to put you off having sex.

I think this is quite common when you're knackered from kids and not feeling very confident about your body post-children.
I've discovered that if I actually wait until I'm feeling in the mood, six months could easily pass, but if I force myself to initiate sex once I get going I enjoy it. Not sure if that helps you though really because you say you don't enjoy it when it happens.