5 years older than him - does it matter?

[weejimmykrankie]

I have been seeing a lovely guy for about 6 months now. All going fantastically well, exclusive and definitely serious, I've never been happier, though we haven't quite got to the "I love you" stage yet.

Thing is, I'm 38 this month and he's just turned 33. We met on a night out through mutual friends and hooked up before he knew how old I was (most people tend to underestimate my true age by a few years, lucky me), but he knew before he asked me out on a second date.

I tend to think that in your thirties that sort of age difference doesn't really matter from a compatibility point of view- I certainly don't have any concerns about him not being mature enough. TBH I'm not psychologically desperate to have DC soon (I don't have any yet, depite being a fan of MN) but I am aware that, physically, I probably need to get my skates on. Don't want to spook him by discussing it yet, but he's bound to have realised that.

Has anyone else been in a similar position? Any advice?

I'm 34 and DP is 30. The only issue we have is children. We have started ttc now as i am knocking on a bit! if i had been younger it would have been nicer to have been together longer before we started (2 years). But that's the only thing.

My exH is also 4 years younger and kids were the only age issue there too. He still didn't want any when i was 32 and i couldn't wait any longer.

I'm 6 six years older than DH, we got together when he was 30. We are still together, 14 years later. Have never really noticed the gap, except he doesn't remember the moon landing and I do!

Hi Op, got together with my DH when we were the same ages as you and your DH. Have now been married for 8 years.

Not kids together, but I have a DS of 15. He was 3 when we started seeing each other.

im 48, dh is 40, we have been together 15 years, he has bought up dd as his own and the only thing about our relationship that really pisses me off is when i get stupid fucking 'toy boy' comments - dh is a MAN!!

I'm 46 and dp 41 - have been together 7 years - just had our first dc and very happy. This is nothing compared to my mum whose dh is 25 years younger - both very happy and have been married for 10 years.

My DH and I have been together 18 years and married 13 years. I am 10 years older than him and we have had no problems with the age difference. We also spent the first 3 years of our relationship living on the other side of the country from each other in a long distance relationship.

I had my first DC when I was 37, DC2 when I was 40 and DC3 whean I was 43.

A few years ago I was seeing a guy 14 years younger than me

However,I realised the gap was just tooo big when we bumped into his mate who asked "Is this your mum's friend?"

One of my colleagues is 44; her husband is 35. They both had DC before they met. She is stunning, slim, very young looking. He is very good looking & chilled out; & totally besotted by her.
A male friend of mine got married at 23 to a 31yr old divorce with 3 DCs. They are still together ten years on.
All my mum's boyfriends have been approx 5 years younger.
A friend had an ex who was 21 while she was 29. They lived together, but his heavy drinking ended the relationship.
I've known lots of couples where the man was much older than the woman too.

The couples who stay together seem to be those with shared views & interests, and mutual attraction which really has nothing to do with age!

I'm 5 years older than my DH. We've been together 13 years. He was 23, I was 28 when we met. We had a baby just over a year later, and another 3 since.
If you get on well, then I don't see a problem 5 years is nothing.

I am also five years older than my boyfriend - 35 and 30. Although I don't want children, which means the issues of biological clock aren't there, making me fairly relaxed on that front. If he wants a family though I will have to let him go, which would be sad, but the right thing to do. In terms of how you get on though, 5 years in your thirties is nothing.