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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

What would you do?

43 replies

conundrum · 01/12/2005 22:46

What would you do if?

You found a condom in your dh's wallet?

We very very rarely go out together, in fact i can't remember the last time. TBH i don't see a reason why he should carry one.

What are your thoughts.

OP posts:

Original poster

conundrum · 01/12/2005 23:06

He has always been an arse, v cocky, obnoxious, i don't feel like me, just a wife and skivvy, he was supposed to be at a meeting today, but, forgot his mobile phone and was out till 9ish.

OP posts:

SnowQueenVictoria · 01/12/2005 23:06

im a bit slow off the mark tonight

Original poster

conundrum · 01/12/2005 23:07

Your not unsympathetic its what i've thought for a while

OP posts:

SnowQueenVictoria · 01/12/2005 23:07

i give up. bloody drugs.

Feistybird · 01/12/2005 23:09

Do you love him? Do you want it to work? (you sound like you've given up on him, but I could obv be v.wrong there). Do you think he wants it to work?

Original poster

conundrum · 01/12/2005 23:09

drugs??????? at this time of night

OP posts:

Original poster

conundrum · 01/12/2005 23:10

I know he wants it to work, and to be honest, I don't think i love him as much as I used to because of the way he treats me. He never hits me, gives me anything i want, but, he treats me like a skivvy, show's me hardly any respect etc and when he is working he is nasty and bad tempered and i am walking on eggshells.

OP posts:

SnowQueenVictoria · 01/12/2005 23:11

yes

in fact double and [hippy flower emoticon]

Original poster

conundrum · 01/12/2005 23:12

Giz sum

OP posts:

Feistybird · 01/12/2005 23:12

It sounds to me (and feel absolutely free to ignore me) that you are both ripe for counselling. You both sound like you've 'lost' eachother somewhere along the line...

Feistybird · 01/12/2005 23:13

SNQ, such a hedonist. I am pure.

Only had 3 glasses of red tonight

Original poster

conundrum · 01/12/2005 23:15

I would like some red wine at the minute. I have been thinking about counselling, but I know what he is like and he will lose his temper and I don't want that to happen in public.

OP posts:

SnowQueenVictoria · 01/12/2005 23:17

hey - help yourself

Feistybird · 01/12/2005 23:18

They will have seen this reaction before (unless he's totally OTT). If he is willing, encourage it. If you think you both want it to work, give him the benefit of the doubt.

Original poster

conundrum · 01/12/2005 23:19

He will put his hand through doors, throw furniture, or, storm out leaving me like a lemming and go and sit in a pub and get so drunk he doesn't know his name or where he is and turn it round to all being my fault.

OP posts:

Feistybird · 01/12/2005 23:25

You sound like you are well used to his behaviour...and that you have come to a crossroads.

What do you think might be your next step?

Feistybird · 01/12/2005 23:32

C - am going to bed now (didn't want you to think I'd just lost interest....)

Tortington · 02/12/2005 00:14

you dont want to go to counselling becuase he might show what he is truly like? thats the point.

he shouts, has a bad temper, he is intimidating and a drunk, he has no respect for you and treats you like shit on the bottom of his shoe, he throws things to scare you, he punches doors to remind you how big and hard he is.

and as if that wasn't enough you suspect he's shaggin someone else.

i'd have his stuff in bin bags and the locks changed by erm what time is it oh its now 12.15 - i could have that done by 3 am, so when he goes out tomorrow he could fking stay there.

or ofcourse you can go to counselling
ignore it
hope the behaviour doesn't damage your kids in any way so they come on mumsnet saying " i dont want my dp to be like my dad, out house was a nighmare but my mum never did anything, there was always an atmosphere and we always had to be aware of hismoods and his day despite what had gone on in ours"

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