husband hates me

[sharla28]

my husband was violent and attempted to rape me on saturday. He says he hates me. I cheated on him 6 years ago and i told him after he admitted to the same and since then he says he hates me.

I am trying to be strong because I'm going on holiday Friday and I really need this holiday- I havent been away for 8 yrs. He isnt coming but I'm scared if I end it before Thursday he will do something to the house while I'm away.

I'm just getting this out I went in the toilet today at work and really wanted to cry but I feel as thought I cant cry because once I start I will never stop.

The shame is his, sharla, not yours. You don't need to be afraid of telling anyone the truth -- especially not people who care about you like family and friends. They will want to give you all the support they can.

Yes, there will be a lot to get your head round. Talking to friends, Women's Aid, a therapist, and reading the books and links listed in the emotional abuse thread could help you, when you want to dive into understanding what the hell was going, and how you pick yourself up from it.

When you tell the truth, people won't blame you love, they will be horrified, shocked, perhaps dismayed you didn't trust them enough to confide in them. Anything less than this, tbh, they are not people you need to bother with.

If it wasn't the affair, believe me it would have been something else.

Is he in your house at the moment? did you let him back home? If not, please tell him that this is how it will be until you decide otherwise.

The first thing you need to do, is remove the danger from your life, and that is getting this violent man out of your home.

if he is as contrite as he says he is, he will understand that you need space away from him, tell him anything you have to to get him to agree to go immediately.

Now that you know what is going on love, your relationship will never go back to being the same as it was. Your eyes have opened and you are aware of his abuse of you. There is no way back, only forward, and that forward has to be without him. HE did this, HE broke your trust, he crossed the line. 5 TIMES.

Think about what you would do for your DD if she came to you. Please let your mum do the same for you. let her help in whatever way she can.

Stop feeling guilty about the affair, BTW. If he hadn't been a shit, you wouldn't have done it anyway. Because he has always been a shit, violent rapists have hated women and mistreated them all their lives.