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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help me tell my DP what I want!

1 reply

Terraviva · 24/07/2011 11:08

Can anyone recommend a good book for improving communication in a relationship? I've realised I bottle up saying things to my DP that I think will hurt his feelings. Eventually it all becomes a massive, vague unsaid problem in my head and I start considering ending the relationship...

So, I need to be able to tell him clearly: 'I want x, y & z', and I just don't seem able to! He's willing to work on anything I want him to, but I have trouble telling him clearly and end up just waffling on. I have asked him what he wants from me by the way, or if there's anything he'd like me to change, and his answer is always no - I am perfect the way I am. I'm bloody not & I almost wish he would give me something to work on so it felt like we were working on our relationship together, instead of me just giving a list of things he needs to shape up on.

I suppose I feel a huge reluctance to tell him what I want because of that belief that you can't change another person, and telling your DP to 'change' for you is wrong.

Anyway, does anyone have a great book they want to recommend to help communication in a relationship? One that's quite practical with exercises to do would be brilliant.

Any other advice gratefully received.

Sorry, am going to have to post and run, but TIA & I'll be back later.

OP posts:
CrispyHedgehog · 24/07/2011 11:10

No help but I'm interested in this too :)

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