Is it possible to convince dh that me going abroad with the girls is a good idea?

[QueenEagle]

I broached the subject this morning of a weekend away with the girls at Easter. he rolled his eyes and was very unimpressed.

Since chatting with my friend this afternoon, she has suggested going abroad with our dd's aged 14 and 15 as a foursome. Imagine dh's response to this!!

I would love to go but I can imagine 101 reasons from dh not to go. Due to our ds's activities, dd gets overlooked very often and I feel she deserves a treat. Lots of other reasons, but do I need to justify it?

Would it be unreasonable of me to expect dh to accept me and dd going abroad without the rest of the family?

Don't see why not - did he give any reason for his eye-rolling?

HM, he would have to keep 4 boys entertained, find where their clothes are kept, go to Tescos and actually cook a few meals.

It also wouldn't be "fair" as he hasn't got anyone to go on a boys' holiday with. It wouldn't be right to take only one of our kids and not the others. He would make me feel guilty about it forever after.

I would love to go, I mean, really love to go but found myself saying to my friend "dh would never allow it" - then I stopped to think - why on earth should he give permission? Now I am tangling with my conscience and I haven't even broached the subject of going abroad with him yet.

just call it a girly weekend - there'll be times when the rest of the family want to do boy things that you don't

go for it!

Would it be evil to get the boys excited about having Daddy to do things with...all to themselves?

Well dh is going away with only ds1 on a football tournament week in the Easter hols. I told him he would have a fab time - watching the boys play footy all day, then having a few beers with the dads in the evening.

Maybe I didn't make it clear in my original post - me and said friend are talking about a week abroad in august with only our teenage dd's. As they will be old enough to look after themsleves, we can laze on the beach!

My dh has been on several (umm...4 I think) holidays by himself. These were week long hols whilst I was home with ds and dd. I haven't been away myself yet, it's easier for him to go away than me as my work fits into school hours easily whereas his doesn't and so I can fit in working and looking after the kids whereas he'd have to cut his working week in half in order to do the same. When I wasn't working or when I had a week off and he didn't, I used to take both the kids to my parent's house and leave him at home. I don't make dh feel guilty that I haven't had my "share" of hols. It's not important to me. I'd much rather be at home, anyway. Oh, yes, I don't think you need his permission at all, but I can understand him feeling nervous at taking on the responsibility that is usually yours. You do both have to be happy with the arrangement in order for it to work. Hth.

ITE - thanks for that. I agree it's will only work if both are happy about it. dh very clearly isn't. I mentioned it to him tonight and he said no way would he go for that. No way. A weekend yes, but a whole week - big no-no.

So, it seems that because dh can't cope with the kids, me and dd have to miss out. He also said it was grossly unfair for me and dd to go off on holiday and him and the boys didn't.

Now I know he would and could cope just fine if he was left to it. He is playing the guilt trip on me. I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I put my foot down and go, he will resent every minute of it. If I don't go, I will resent him.

Now what?

But he's taking just DS1 away for a week?

Double standards, definitely.

How old are your other kids QE?

Sounds like a wonderful idea to me -Im jealous!! I would love to have a girly mother daughter and friends holiday