Jealousy

[yellowflag]

I have never been a jealous person. Really, I have never understood why people get jealous.... I am 48

I have been with my DP for 9 months. We are very happy, and there are no problems. He has never given me the slightest reason to doubt him, is very open, trustworthy and reliable. early on in our relationship we discussed our attitudes to fidelity, and he, like me feels that monogamy is our thing.

so why am I a seething green eyed monster? He is meeting with a woman tomorrow connected with a work commitment, and i have myself in knots of jealousy and feel deeply unhappy about it. I know I am being ridiculous, and in fact by feeling this way I run the risk of driving him away. I have told him how i feel, and he felt very hurt that I 'didnt trust him' - I do, but I don't trust her...

I don't know if its because i feel he is so lovely that I not sure why he is with me?

help

Something else I would like to say is that I think how you feel says more about you than about him. He isn't causing you to feel this way, your own insecurities are. My ex was extremely jealous, insecure and controlling, all of that made him abusive towards me and in the end I had no choice but to leave him but, not once during my eleven years with him did I ever do anything to cause him to feel jealous or insecure, it was all of his own doing, all in his own mind. Please, for your own sake, take a look at yourself and try to discover what makes you feel the way you do but above all, please don't burden your DP with the responsibility for your feelings.

I so agree wit you, Its not him its me.. i want help with how I feel,,,ffs you can only change yourself an this is making me miserabe for no good reason.... hen my postings....

exactly. I have no ide what this ws like until I hear - and weeping the minute he walks through the door is spectacularly unhelpful. I want HARD advice about I should not/must not do this.Because I love him, he is a good man

You should greet him with a smile and a hug and ask him how his evening has gone. He will probably be more than willing to tell you and from his response you will be reassured that he has been on his best behaviour. Much better than meeting him with a face like a cat's backside and a surly attitude for which you will only ending up apologising for after a heated argument.

Hey Yellow.... is he back yet? Hope everything is ok and that you played it coooool x

I understand that you are feeling a little unsure as you are a little s elf conscious about theyoung children. But plse be philosophical about this....if he is for real. ..then he will come back

.....please focus on yourself....good idea to intensify your running for example.....if you DP turns out to be fickle then remember that you have had bigger tests and come through. But that is jumping the gun....just stay cool.

Remember - he is not the same man your husband was. It can be difficult not to jump to conclusions based on past experience, but give him a chance. Value yourself.

Well, what happenned?