Keepsakes from previous relationships

[VelvetSnow]

Everyone has a past, I absolutely accept that.

Yesterday DP & I were moving furniture in dd's room and on top of a massive wardrobe was a shoe box full of photos/cards/letters etc..

We opened it together and started looking through the things and there were photos of DP as a younger man with girlfriends etc (quite a few different women tbh :)) The most recent photos were of him and his most recent ex - from about 10 years ago.

Now, the photos do not concern me at all, as I have a box of photos from the past and they have all sorts of people in them. (including my ExH)

The thing is and I'm not too sure whether this bothers me or not but he had kept birthday cards with lovey-dovey sentiments (of course they would be lovey-dovey, they were a couple for years) and also love letters, but from this person only.

I'm not saying at all that he still has feelings for his ex, I know he doesn't, I gave you the above description as a reason for my question really, I suppose what I'm asking is...

Would/Do you keep things from previous relationships after such a long time, even when you're in a completely new relationship and have children together.

I don't keep things like that as they don't really mean anything to me anymore, would you feel "put out" if you came across something like the cards/letters as described above?

I don't think I'm planning to say or do anything about this, I just want to process exactly how I feel about it tbh. And I know if I was upset about it I could tell DP and he would understand.....looking forward to seeing what you think to be honest.

I threw everything away. Into the bin. It ended relatively amicably. But i am not a hoarder, nor sentimental over cards or letters or anything. If i haven't looked at something in a year, it goes in the bin. :) Some people call me heartless, I think i am more pragmatic than anything - i save on space () and I have no baggage for myself to think about or anyone else to snoop through.

beard I was going to type that, but you saved me the bother!

I take sentimentality tips from the flylady!

I don't have anything and neither does my husband.

Neither of us keep 'stuff'. If it isn't being used - bin it.

I don't understand how people get attached to junk. You still remember events, surely? Do you really need that ticket stub to remember the time you went to that fab event on your first date with the love of your life? No. It's just junk. Bin it.

I don't understand why people feel the need to accumulate stuff. I understand that they do feel the need. I respect that they do feel the need. I just don't understand why. There's no logic or purpose to it.

I don't understand why people watch sport or believe in woo or gods. There's no logic or purpose to that either. I guess they do it because they like it. Same as holding onto keepsakes.

That may be true springchicken, but people who watch sport watch it quite frequently, and I suppose people who believe in gods think about that quite often. We're talking about an OP that states - "on top of a massive wardrobe was a shoe box full of photos/cards/letters" - it's not exactly in the forefront of one's mind; why do people keep things and then proceed to put them in boxes, on top of wardrobes, or in the garage, or in the cabinet that you haven't looked in since you moved into the house. That's why it's weird - people hold on to what is essentially clutter because they do nothing with it except store and forget it until a random cleaning day.

Happened to my mum and dad - moved house to a smaller place, had to get rid of loads of stuff - they found a treasure trove of memories - dad threw it all in the bin, mum got angry but after dad pointed out that she hadn't looked at it since we moved into the last house (13 years previously) and had only found it this way due to moving, she wasn't exactly emotionally attached to it..to which she agreed.

Yes. I get that. They like it. Need it. Whatever. That's not what I don't get. I get that that's how they feel. What I am saying I don't understand is why.

Religion - I believe in God. Why? Because it makes me feel better about this life to choose to believe that there is another one. A good one. A fair one.

One where I'm skinny and beautiful and get rodgered daily

That's a why. Like isn't a why. Like isn't a reason. I like it because... That's what I am on about. That's what I'm not understanding.

Not that I have to I'm not suggesting that, or that anyone owes me an explanation or anything stupid like that! It's no skin off my nose what people do, I'm just contributing to the thread. would you/do you?.. no and here's why.

There have been a couple of posters who mentioned "snooping" in their posts, just to reiterate what I said in my OP "We opened it together and started looking through the things" So no snooping here :)

I'm generally the type of person to throw out stuff, I just have a junk amnesty every once in a while, but I wouldn't dream of throwing out anything belonging to DP - not my junk to dispose of really.

Like I said before, it seems to be quite common to keep mementoes etc, in fact thinking about it - I have umpteen boxes stored in my parents house full of letters and little trinkets, although I know that if my parents wanted to clear some space then I'd happily tell them to get rid.

DP & I have our faults, and sometimes our relationship can be quite rocky, however one thing I am sure of is that we are both entirely faithful, I'm completely secure in that aspect of my relationship.

For me my small box contains treasured
memories over many years letters from
dear friends that would hurt no one,
pictures of myself and friends as
teenagers. Mementoes of places I went
to,people I met or saw. When I look at
them now
the moments are like it was yesterday
and bring great pleasure .
If the love letters contain graphic
Lovers talk ie sexy stuff then I think
it is inappropriate to keep when the
relationship is over.