Another parents and Christmas rant

[Brighteyes]

Since both me and my sister moved out from our parents home 9 years ago, we have spent each christmas day with my parents.

Over the previous 9 years we have all met at my parents from breakfast time till late evening on chritmas day. I have gone along with my dp and my sister has gone along with her two ds (now aged 7 and 18 months)and on occassions her dp (depending on wether their on one of their numerous "breaks" or not). My third nephew (also aged 7) lives with my parents because my youngest sister died shortly after giving birth to him.

So thats the backround....

My rant is that this year I give birth to my dd who will be 7 months old at Christmas. I assumed after always spending every Christmas with my entire family this year would be no different. My mother has just informed me that we are not invited over for the day because the family is now getting to big and she things we should spend the day at our own homes and just meet up in the evening around 6 o'clock (dd is ready for bed by 7).

I may be over reacting but I feel really upset that for my dd first Christmas my family doesnt want to spend the day with her despite the fact that I have turned down numerous invitations over the years to spend the day with my family in particular my nephews.

Thanks for reading to the end of this long and tedious rant.

Opinions appreciated

Why not invite everyone to yours?

have you tried talking to your mum and explaining how upset it has made you feel, and that you feel she doesn't want to share in your dd's first christmas. why not suggest lunchtime as a meet upi time instead because your dd is ready for bed by 7, so you would be leaving around 6ish at the latest to get dd to bed.

have invited everyone around but my dad doesnt really get on with my sisters partner. I think this is the route of the problems and change in tradition. My parents dont want to spend the day with my sisters dp and she of course wants to be with her partner on Christmas day.

I just feel like dd is suffering because they cant put their difference aside for one day.

Meeting up in the evening means that sisters dp will be out with his mates so no need to invite him along.

I think you should be thankful that your mum has initiated this change. I think you should see this as an opportunity to start your own family traditions at Xmas. An intimate family Xmas sounds fab to me.

What I wouldn't do for a quiet Christmas! I am planning on starting that next year... maybe lunch with family and then quiet evening with dd and possibly friends... ahhh...

Sorry, sorry!

I would be annoyed about that I must admit, could you not go over earlier and stay for less time??

i dont think the arguement with your sisters dp and your dad shouold affect you and your children why cant your sister spend the day with her partner and then meet at 6 at your parents or tell her partner that she will be going out at 5pm or something, i think basicly what im saying is compromise and communication is the key to solving this. if it cant be resolved then just invite them all to yours at different times throughout the day.

personally i have my family over in the morning and we go to dp's parents at about 1ish then go out to dinner at a pub come back about 6pm tidy up and get the kids in bed then our friends come over for a few drinks and games. we get to see everyone and its not a day of rushing about then i spend the day with my family on boxing day eating cold meat and chips though not quite sure whats happening about boxing day this year as its my dp's sisters 21st so i guess his family will want us to celebrate but i dont think its fair that i dont spend one of the days with my family so we'll see if we can fit them both in

Um, at seven months old I don't think your dd would suffer if she didn't have a family meet up on Christmas day. having said that, I do understand why you are upset and I would bit a bit of both - relieved not to have to spend the day with the whole family and upset that they didn't want to spend the day with my children.

Maybe your mum is tired and wants a bit of a rest on Christmas day instead of being a hostess to lots of people. I think people do find it harder, as they get older, to be with lots of children for a whole day -even if it is their own grandchildren and it is Christmas day!

Whatever happens, I hope you and your family enjoy the day.