I feel a bit of a fraud for starting this thread after the end of my relationship which was only 6 years, but see the amazing advice others have been receiving after the end of long marriages.
But I could really do with some words of wisdom that things will get better, I feel so desolate for want of a better word and can't believe it is finally over, my doctor has given me AD's but they make me so sleepy half way through the day and im struggling to eat on them.
I ended it finally, he was very neglectful to me personally but a great father, so I see him regularly for ds, we had kept things very amicable for the last month and I seen that he was now acting like I had wanted him to be for years, this was really hard, we were getting on fairly well going on days out as a family (somethng he had never been interested in doing before) etc, I really missed him and was so lonely, so I asked him to give it another go and he said no. I am totally devastated and worse than when I ended it in the first place. I am crying all the time, I feel like someones died.
I had made progress before this, I got a full time job I love, I have started decorating, but I am and always have been quite a solitary and private person, I feel so alone and with no hope for the future.
We are going away this weekend to a festival me, ex, ds, ex's brother and his ds. I don't know how the hell im going to get though it without begging him to come back to me at some point and making a total fool of myself, I know I shouldn't go, but I am going to go as I am looking forward to the festival itself and ds is so excited about me going.
Sorry just a ramble, it just helps to get it all out.