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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH wants X I want Y, what can I do?

26 replies

dejinglejags · 28/11/2005 11:48

It?s me and my location in the world again . Sorry in advance if I am boring you all to death about this but I really need to moan to somebody and I can?t talk to DH.
For those that don?t know ? we moved to Cape Town a little over a year ago and I am so bloody miserable I often feel like sitting down with my head in my hands and having a good cry. This is becoming increasingly worse ? I am so snappy with DH, homesick all the time and just sick and tired of feeling like a fish out of water all the damn time .
Problem is, is that DH will not consider moving back to the UK ? we are currently looking at Australia but this is a long-winded process so not a quick fix and certainly not definite. If I even mention being homesick, DH will retort with something along the lines of ? why are you ?home?sick, this (Cape Town) is your home. If I labour the point he becomes tense and unhappy. So now I refrain from saying anything at all. In his defence, he can?t understand why I don?t think of Cape Town as home, because I went to school here.
I have a constant lump in my throat and I think I am becoming depressed. Problem is, is that?s the way DH felt when we lived in the UK.
The other thing is that we have had to cancel our life dream of a round the world trip to accommodate the application for Permanent Residence in Australia for various reasons and I am gutted about this too
What can I do? I am damned if I do, I am damned if I don?t.

OP posts:
dejinglejags · 30/11/2005 10:07

Hausfrau - sorry you also feel so cr@p about things. It's an awful feeling, isn't it?

We have made some progress:

We have got round one of the major issues preventing us from making an application for migration to Australia - so hopefully our application will go in next week and should take 9-12 months from there.

DH has also agreed that we can go out to Australia in the new year to see if we could live there so that is great news (and makes me feel a little bit better about our cancelled RTW trip).

As expected, when I first raised it with DH it quickly brewed into a row but to our credit we managed to haul it back and make some solid plans to alleviate my suffereing .

I think the saying is - "you live and learn"

OP posts:
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