I have been talking to a new and attractive man for 5 months online and spent time with him twice. We share a common hobby which is quite unusual. He is excellent company when we meet or chat and wants our friendship to progress slowly and get to know me as a "best friend". So far so good.
BUT He works in a very male world and has little knowledge of women. He has three teenage kids from a failed marriage and has lost touch with them as his ex is "deranged". He was hard hit by the financial divorce settlement and is bitter about it. She claims he has Aspergers syndrome (he doesn't!) He desperately wants to put this right but doesn't know how.
He refers to other ex girlfriends as "nutters" and has tried to imply I am "bonkers" or "loony" at times apparently as a joke.
His sex life in recent times has mainly been solo activities with porn which he says is "normal for men". When we went to bed it almost felt like he was alarmed that I initiated anything or responded to him sexually, although not displeased. He won't discuss this with me though.
He fails to answer the phone. He is extremely secretive and will not plan ahead as his job apparently does not allow this. This may well be true. He seems to have very few friends and no contact with his family.
Now wise women of MN is there any point prolonging this? This man is clearly damaged but at bottom rather sweet and keen to have relationship but it is like getting to know a hermit crab. What would you do?