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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hacked off with DH's facebook conduct ..but not sure how to deal with it

8 replies

goingwiththeflow · 17/07/2011 11:14

A small issue in the context of other threads in this topic but wants some MN advice Grin

Background: DH works away abroad 3 weeks out of 4, due to time difference we communicate by email/text and usually tired late at night phone calls.

We both have FB accounts and due to being at school together have lots of mutual FB friends, one of these friends has just split from his DP and is enthusiastically collecting female FB friends at a rate of knots, with him appearing in my news feed daily with XX is now friends with 27 people etc , they all appear in their profile pic in model type bikini shots and tend to hail from Russia..so how he knows them when he resides in a small Yorkshire village is fairly obvious.

Last night on my Newsfeed I get 'DH is friends with Zrtggyaastio Htcg' (or similar spelling !Smile) who happens to be in a (model shoot quality pic) bikini on her profile pic and comes from Georgia, has 2772 (male) friends and whose photos are a 'celebration of Georgian Women' and is a mutual friend of XX

Sent DH jokey FB email about XX managing to meet lots of Russian Women whilst working on a farm in Yorkshire ..who'd have thought it etc etc ..to which he replied 'I get loads of friend requests from the same women too , think they are hedging their bets by contacting as many blokes as possible, have sent him a message taking the p*ss'

replied in light hearted manner asking so why did 'Zrtggyaastio Htcg' get accepted as your friend then? is she particularly good at ironing? must find myself a Russian Husbands site so I too can have random good looking people as FB friends ....had no reply

this from a bloke who asked me to unfriend his DS as DS's mum was using his account and going through my posts and photos and texting him with things like 'see you had a good holiday in X looks like your wife is putting on weight etc etc'

just feel a bit peeved that is using FB to possibly contact women to boost his male ego but obv doesn't see anything wrong in that

Am I being over sensitive ..?

OP posts:
goingwiththeflow · 17/07/2011 11:20

and he is also on Are You Interested on FB but he 'didn't realise what it was' and apparently can't work out how to get out of it Hmm

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HappyDoll · 17/07/2011 11:22

FB is evil.

It has to be all or nothing for me. Either you don't mind a bit of 'harmless' online flirting...it's not RL, nothing will ever happen, I trust him e.t.c. OR You don't accept being publicly pushed to one side and DH fantisises about his bachelor life. Absolutely if he does it, then you should immediately.

goingwiththeflow · 17/07/2011 11:31

tbh I think it is the public , 'out for everyone on FB to see' ( inc family) that makes it worse... DH is 'friends' with someone he doesn't actually know in RL ( thats obvious!) and posts appear such as 'DH replied to a post on Are You Interested' on my newsfeed so they must on our mutual friends and family's too ..which combined with him working away isn't going to look good and I can't understand why he thinks its amusing that I don't like it ..

Its childish I know but feel like adding a few random blokes onto mine and watching his reaction !

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Tortington · 17/07/2011 11:39

id tell dh i didn't like it

if he didn't see that he was hurting my feelings, i would know he isn't the dh i thought he was and the discussin wouldnt be about fb beauties, but about why he thinks its ok to hurt my feelings.

BelleDameSansMerci · 17/07/2011 11:42

Oh I wouldn't choose a random bloke - make sure it's someone you could actually meet up with if you wanted to. Grin

Or, more seriously, ask him to treat you with a bit more respect? It's thoughtless, at best.

goingwiththeflow · 17/07/2011 12:15

will trawl my old college friends later Wink ...

the russian 'Friend' has now been removed but no reply to my message .. I can feel him sulking thousands of miles away ....poor DH..pesky wife pecking him about his friend choices Hmm ruining all his fun !

OP posts:
adamschic · 17/07/2011 12:26

Most of these women will be blokes scamming from Nigeria or somewhere similar and not Russian beauties in the photo's. I would remind him of this.

Agree FB can be evil and I would be seriously peed off too. Great idea to add a couple of real life -hunks men from your college days.

goingwiththeflow · 17/07/2011 12:35

ahhh adamschic thanks.. when he laughs at me for 'being all jealous for no reason' Angry I'll stump him with that ...some big bloke from Nigeria trawling your profile ready to scam you , you prick! Grin

then add some college blokes Smile

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