I think it's very good actually that you've recognised this, and I think it's a good idea to spend some time trying to address it before even thinking about dating. If you have low self esteem the people you tend to attract aren't going to see you very nicely either!
You say that the thought of being so good-looking that you might seduce men is scary to you - what about the thought of being in between, not being ugly, not being stunning, just being ordinary. Men aren't going to see you and fall madly in love, but if someone likes your personality, who you get on with, who shares your sense of humour, who likes you for who you are, they are probably going to find you attractive physically as well. (This is going to sound awful but) I know that my DP is not conventionally "good looking", in fact, when we were just friends and didn't see each other in a romantic way, I would never have looked at him and thought "Phwoar!" but now, because I find his personality attractive and I know him, I think he's gorgeous. I love his smile, because it's kind, something I'd never particularly registered before. I love the way his eyes sparkle when he is feeling particularly devilish. His hair is terrible but I've started to think it's cute.
I think that someone who likes you just or mainly based on your looks is a bit shallow anyway, and should be disregarded. It's harder to be a woman who isn't particularly bothered about how attractive you are (and probably harder if you actually find it uncomfortable to be told you are attractive) because society places a high value on attractiveness and it's almost ingrained from a very young age that girls and women are pretty, that's their role, and they want to be told that they are beautiful, and any partner who loves you will want to tell you this naturally, because it's what they have been told all their lives: women value being told that they are pretty. Look at fairytales for example, any hollywood movie, the massive fashion and beauty industry, etc etc. But in a relationship it's nice to be told other reasons you are valued as well. DP tells me often that he thinks I'm a good mother, or says that he finds it sexy to see me working out some complicated maths equation, or compliments my cooking, or that he's glad we have the same sense of humour, or any number of other things. But he probably does tell me that he thinks I have a nice bum or something as well, and that doesn't bother me because I know he sees past that, but now that I've looked at it just now, I've realised he probably does say these things more than the others!
How long did you attend counselling for, and what type was it? You might find you do better with something like psychotherapy, which goes a bit deeper than "And how did you feel about that?" - but having said that, any kind of therapy can take several years to get to the heart of certain feelings, especially if they are quite hidden and buried underneath other things.