Does anyone sleep in a seperate bed from their DP?

[Ivortheengine8]

Up until recently usually one of us ended up on the sofa but we bought a new bed for the spare room a couple of weeks back. The main reason is DP's snoring, I just can't hack it especially being pregnant again and with a toddler, I really need my sleep. He doesn't seem to mind and I don't mind but it seems kind of odd. We don't do stuff that often, he has a very busy workload and often stays up late working etc and we both usually end up too tired to do much anyway.
I know its not the best solution for a married couple but is it weird?

This thread is interesting I did not know it was so common place ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,a HUGE insight to the whole seperate beds, and I agree nothing nicer than your own space - thanks everyone an eyeopener!

That true wecan, I am pleasantly surprised we are not so abnormal!

I do love my own space. I'm 6 months pregnant and I need to sprawl out, it also takes me a while to get comfy so I can fidget as much as I want on my own.

What a refreshing honest thread. It's a shame that couples sleeping in different beds has become almost a taboo, in that people don't tend to 'admit' to it to friends and family.

Someone upthread mentioned Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton's marital set-up of having adjoining terraced houses (in Hampstead, I think?). Whenever I'd read interviews with them in which they mention it, I've always felt very attracted to that. They say their marriage is utterly alive, and the houses join with through doors on every level, and communal living space, but they get to decorate and keep their own spaces too.

I'm lucky that DH doesn't snore or interfere with my sleep, but I do enjoy having a double bed to myself when he's away. Saying that, pillow talk is a precious part of our relationship, and, with young children, often the only time of the day we get to talk properly. We go to bed around the same time, or within half an hour of each other. So I would miss that if we had different rooms...

I agree lastone, I think that communication before bed is very important and I feel sorry that we don't really have that (regardless of if we sleep in the same bed). Before I was married that was one of the things I thought marriage was about. I don't think we have that intimate a relationship but I think we muck along well in most respects.

we start off in the same bed most nights, always in the hope that i can stay all night as im can be a very restless sleeper, if im particuarly restless and know im going to fidget and keep him awake i go in the guest room anyway, i generally end up in there at about 4 in the morning and have a few blissful hours of undisturbed sleep (as does dh once ive cleared off!), during the week we just get up and get on with the day, weekends i always go back to our bed in the morning for a 'chat'!

a few of our friends now have seperate rooms (the kids have gone so there is now the space! ) and we all agree how much better we all feel for having decent undisturbed sleep!

I'm sure I read somewhere that it used to be the norm to have separate rooms in wealthier families who had the space. People who shared only did it because of lack of space. So maybe this is a class thread by stealth.

Jesus, thats what we did before my bed for the spare room came! :)
Backpassage I think it is still common in other countries. Often the mum will sleep with the children and the dad in a seperate room.
I shall now think myself as a wealthy person! (in our two bedroomed top floor flat in London! :()

DW and I have been sleeping separately for about four months now. We both snore. DW can't sleep unless the bedroom is warm enough to melt me. We both tend to nick the bedclothes. We both "know" when the other person isn't asleep and we get disturbed by it.

The DW also needs about an hour's more sleep a night than me, and in the past she demanded that I go to bed at the same time as her. This meant that I sort of lay there counting sheep for about fifty minutes each night before dropping off. Not good.

Yes it has resulted in a certain loss of intimacy, but we compensate for that as best we can by sleeping in the same room at weekends. And we growl at each other a good deal less as we're not sleep deprived.

Neither of my grandparents slept in the same bed, and one set slept in separate rooms. As someone said above - it's a wealth thing - in the past, if you had enough space to sleep separately, you did. It's about time that sleeping separately lost its stigma.

Yes, us at the moment too. DH is in the bedroom with our 3yo DD and I am co-sleeping with our 8wk old DS. The reason we started sleeping separately is because my knee ligaments ruptured again when DS was 2days old and, when they tear, I cannot walk without crutches. My knee ligaments have been periodically tearing/ rupturing for over a year, but the specialist had to wait until I'd given birth before investigating further - I am finally having an MRI scan tomorrow. For us, it makes more sense for DS to be in my (our) bed, so I can breastfeed him as and when he needs it, without having to wake everyone up or attempt to carry our DS and hobble on crutches - which is just asking for an accident to happen.

DD was also very ill just after DS was born and ended up in hospital being tested for all sorts, including, blood disorders, cancers, EBV and mumps - thankfully it was EBV (glandular fever) and she is fully recovered now. Because of the illness and DS's arrival, she has been a little clingy and needed some comfort, so DH being in her room has suited her too.

How long this arrangement will continue for, I don't know... I do miss DH being in our bed and I know he feels the same, but sleeping separately seems the obvious solution to our problems - DD and DH are getting a decent nights' sleep and DS and I are also getting quality sleep as he is literally next to me whenever he needs feeding or comfort. Our arrangement is working for now and, as my ligaments have just gone again yesterday, it will be a little while before DH and I are sleeping in the same bed again.