...just wanna be all by myself
Please excuse the self-indulgence but after the worst year imaginable living with my ex after I told him I wanted to leave (original thread here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/990274-Want-to-separate-from-emotionally-abusive-partner-but-don-39/AllOnOnePage I am finally away from him living in a nice rented place with DS - I feel like I can finally breathe and I just wanted to write it down.
So for the last year we've been living in the same flat while we had some building work done and put the place on the market - not a happy situation as it was accompanied by abusive self-pitying rants. I felt so low at one point that I couldn't imagine ever getting away and began to believe I wouldn't be a good parent on my own. But after just a few days I feel free. The horrible churning anxiety I was beginning to believe was here for good seems to have gone, ditto the nighttime panic attacks. For the first time in ages I feel really positive. DS seems happier and we can have fun without having to put up with ex's moaning and oppressive cloud of doom following us around.
Now ex can phone or text and I can just shrug it off because I don't have to live with him any more and he won't be walking through the door at the end of the day.
Anyone in a similar position, there is light at the end of the tunnel and things will get better.