Hate DH, don't know what to do... sorry long one!

[MrsObedient]

Sorry a long one....
Been married for over 2 years, have 2yo DD, and another DC on the way (planned). It's always been a rocky relationship, We live far away from my family/close friends but have plenty of friends locally also. We have broken up a few times in the past. There have been a couple of minor DV incidents in the past which were never reported, and only a result of DH being so drunk he didn't know what he was doing.

He has always been a lads lad. Goes to his friends house most evenings to smoke weed, which he has always done. Stays at friends house every few weekends. (even though it's only up the road)

He stayed out on Saturday night, his friends came to pick him up and were nice as pie to me. He made me pick him up on Sunday, promising to spend time with DD, which he did to a certain extent, then he went to bed to sleep it off.
We sometimes look at each other phones, I don't think it's because we are suspicious, it's just how it is. Anyway, I found text messages from a girl, asking him if she can come over for drinks, and also received calls from her on the Sat night at 2am. He has also received text messages from another of his mates telling him: if he is looking for sex, then these are the best places in town to find it....

When I confronted him, he said it's all in my head. He hasn't done anything wrong, he will tell this girl to stop texting him, it's all innocent, she's an old friend, and I am over reacting over nothing.
He says I am to blame as I am 'out of proportion' at the minute due to hormones.

We have had a lot of arguments recently, as he expects me to work full time (same as him), come home, do all childcare for DD, all cooking, cleaning, washing, housework... despite the fact that I have been terribly sick during this pregnancy and am physically exhausted on a daily basis.

I have asked him to stay with local family/friends for few days to give me space, but he refused. He knows if backed into a corner I have no option but to leave 100 of miles to my own family, and then him and his family can blame me for breaking up the marriage and taking DCs away from him....

I don't know what to do next. He won't communicate, try counselling, even compromise on the smallest things, or realise that this is not all my fault.
Please advise....

[AnyFucker]

Good luck, love