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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Now knows what it must feel like to find out your dh is having a affair!

5 replies

Nicola567 · 10/07/2011 20:21

Dh has been working away recently so I have been sending him lots of pics and videos with the dc in.

He claimed he had not recieved one I had sent and I thought he must have deleted it by mistake, I used to have the same mobile as him and knew how to retrieve the full contact history even deleted messages etc (dh is a tech dunce so won't know this)

We often text friends or take pics on each others phones so I was in noway snooping.

I noticed right away about 50 texts back and forward between his phone and another, things about trying to get transport to meet this girl and them wanting to sleep together before he came home etc

I honestly thought I would throw up and could not stop shaking, I was so worked up I thought I would have a heart attack.

He walked into the room, I handed his phone and calmly told him I had found his deleted messages and to get out now.

He then looks confused before bursting out laughing and explaining that the guy he was away with has ran out of battery on his mobile so used dh's to text a girl he had met ( I had actually been told all about this guy and the girl he had met but not payed much attention)

I went back and re-read the messages and right enough the first few are explaining why it is a diff mobile etc.

I have never had any reason to distrust dh before and this shook me up so much, I honestly thought for those few mins that mine and my dc lives were about to be torn apart.

Dh did try the whole "I can't believe you would think that of me" speech which I really let rip at him for, he still had messages on his mobile from another woman wanting to meet for sex and I would imagine most wives would think the same as me.

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 10/07/2011 21:35

Tbh I'd do the same.

One of dh friends cheats on his wife and always puts the ow number under my dh name on his phone because my dh is known for not cheating.

Just before we got married he said to friend "you haven't been to our house before" (work friend, not close friend) friend said no, but if my wife asks I have.

You can see why dh won't have him in the house!

HerHissyness · 10/07/2011 21:35

OMG, you poor thing Wine how horrible for you!

Glad that it seems to be without foundation though! phew!

Nicola567 · 11/07/2011 12:06

Have (slightly) calmed down now!

OP posts:
ScaredOfCows · 11/07/2011 14:21

Glad it's ok for you. Not sure I'd have been impressed with him laughing though....

YoungishBag · 11/07/2011 14:25

Ah, how awful for you, even for a few minutes. Sad

I think he's right to be hurt though.

Wouldn't it be awful to be him too - to think that you're wife would immediately leap to that conclusion.

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