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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

No contact with my husband for 20 years

13 replies

Hunkerbunker2 · 09/07/2011 08:46

I have had no contact with my husband, except indirectly via solicitors, for over 20 years and divorce is out of the question as we are both Catholic.

I would really like to meet with him but I don't know how to start putting into words how I feel, especially to a third party (his solicitor).

OP posts:
oldenoughtowearpurple · 09/07/2011 08:51

Ask your solicitors to forward a sealed letter to him. You don't have to tell them what's in it. They will forward it to his solicitors and they will pass it to him.

Or find him on facebook...

ImperialBlether · 09/07/2011 09:53

I don't know many Catholics nowadays who disapprove of divorce to that extent. Most priests will carry out a blessing on second marriages. Are you obeying the letter of the law rather too much?

Aislingorla · 09/07/2011 10:03

I know lots of divorced catholics! The majority of them in Ireland and some have married again in the c. church!

FabbyChic · 09/07/2011 10:03

Not getting a divorce because of your faith is extreme. Things don't work like that anymore. I know many a Catholic who is divorced and has remarried.

Aislingorla · 09/07/2011 10:14

Same with the so called 'no contraceptives ' rule. Most practicing catholics I know have 'only' two kids!

Wisedupwoman · 09/07/2011 11:48

Why do you want to meet with him now, OP? Can you say more?

Hunkerbunker2 · 17/08/2011 15:52

The person I thought might one day become my civil partner has moved out, moved on and moved away. So no need to think about divorcing my not-seen-for-20 years husband.

I went away for the weekend to an old girls reunion. When I got back she had moved out with just a 2 page letter on the table. Its "not my fault" plus all the other gubbins people write. The fact is she has gone.

OP posts:
upahill · 17/08/2011 15:55

Hope you are OK Hunker.

paulapantsdown · 17/08/2011 15:55

So your problem is with the partner who just moved out then, not with long gone husband?

Hunkerbunker2 · 17/08/2011 15:59

I thought I might have to go down the divorce route to be part of a civil partnership. Despite all my reservations about doing so.

But now my prospective civil partner has done the proverbial bunk leaving me feeling like a spare part.

OP posts:
Cappster · 17/08/2011 16:21

I don't know you. So. Tell me to go away.

But after your relationship has ended and you are feeling rather raw, is this the right time to get in contact? Should you give it 6 months till you're a bit stronger for dealing with anything else?

NanettaStocker · 17/08/2011 16:28

@Cappster - Hunkerbunker2 originally asked the question in July, when she thought she would need to divorce her ex-husband to enter a civil partnership with a new person. She no longers needs to and was updating.

@Hunkerbunker2 - So sorry to hear about this, hope things go as well for you as they can.

Cappster · 17/08/2011 16:29

See? I TOLD you I should be told to shut up Grin

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