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Relationships

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Original poster

Do you think dreams are important in letting you know things?

17 replies

Anansee · 08/07/2011 23:17

Recently I've had LOADS of dreams where I've been obsessing over checking my partners phone. I have done this in real life but not for ages. I tell myself I trust him but when ever I have these dreams it makes me realise I don't really and whenever I think about his phone I feel physically sick. I don't know why.

I've also had two dreams about pregnancy. The first dream I was heavily pregnant and about the give birth and was feeling desperately unhappy about it and in the second dream I was searching all over for a pregnancy testing kit. I'm now frightened to death that my sub-conscience is telling me I'm pregnant.

What's going on in my head to make up such awful depressing dreams?

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 08/07/2011 23:22

Yes, I do believe they're important. Or they can be.

I'd found emails on my (now ex) husband's laptop. I didn't really notice the name at the time, just the content.

That night I woke in a full blown panic attack. I couldn't move, could feel my blood slow down in my veins. In the dream I realised who the woman was. I spent hours, literally four or five hours, lying there unable to move, not even my head - we were on holiday and I just stared at the gap in the curtains all those hours and all the realisations of the lies I was told clicked through my mind.

It had been going on for eight years and had started when I was pregnant. I can't tell you what it was like, every second or two another memory came into my mind - an innocuous enough event (eg he'd heard something on the radio at 4pm but hadn't arrived home until 6.30 pm) and I realised all of those eight years had been a lie.

Don't ignore your dreams. They take something you saw without noticing and make you notice it, if that makes sense.

Original poster

Anansee · 08/07/2011 23:25

The thing is I've had dreams where I've been looking at his phone and have read full on text conversations between him and other people, I mean FULL ON conversations that make total sense and then I wake up realising it was a dream but how could you make these conversations up in a dream like that? then it makes me wonder if that is what I'd find if I looked on his phone. The whole thing is making me ill, I feel like I'm going mad. I'm not even eating properly.

OP posts:

pictish · 08/07/2011 23:26

No - they are simply random recreations of things that are on your mind anyway.

buzzsore · 08/07/2011 23:31

I think your fears can be played out in your dreams, like your mind exploring scenarios. It's not unusual to have very vivid real-feeling dreams, especially when you're anxious. Sometimes they turn out to be dead on and sometimes they're miles off.

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions · 08/07/2011 23:33

Dreams can't predict the future or reveal information that you didn't already know, but they can be very useful in helping to unravel the things that are disturbing your subconscious, and they often represent fears and anxieties which is also a useful function - relieves emotional pressure.

BelleDameSansMerci · 08/07/2011 23:33

I think dreams are your subconscious making sense (or not, sometimes) of the things that our conscious minds process during the day/when awake. I think the subconscious processes the data and chucks something out. Sometimes it makes sense (as so very sadly for ImperialBlether - great name, btw) and other times it's just a jumble.

I can be a bit "woo" about some things but I'm not really about dreams. I really do think it's just your subconscious (although that "just" is a bit dismissive).

Sooo, to stop rambling, I'd say you're brain is reacting to your fears/things you've noticed rather than providing you with evidence.

Original poster

Anansee · 08/07/2011 23:34

so the pregnancy thing, do you think I'm dreaming of it so often because its something I fear so much?

OP posts:

BelleDameSansMerci · 08/07/2011 23:42

Quite possibly...! I used to dream I was pregnant quite often. Except when I was, of course.

That's an easy one to resolve though - just buy a kit and do a test.

I've posted quite a harsh post on your other thread - it's not meant to be mean. Your posts give the impression that you are very unhappy and it feels a bit as if you don't know which way to turn. Maybe you need a little bit of time to yourself? Is there any way you could escape for a week or so - just to find some peace or tranquility?

ImperialBlether · 09/07/2011 10:15

For me, I think my dream occurred because I'd only half noticed the name on the email and ignored it, because I was too busy reading the message.

In my dream I realised who it was and knew instantly then when the affair had started years before.

ImperialBlether · 09/07/2011 10:16

Sorry, pressed Post too soon. What I mean is the dream drew my attention to something that my conscious mind was ignoring.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 09/07/2011 10:17

Look, you need to dump this man. He is not doing you any good. You are not doing yourself any good by being so desperate to keep someone who really isn't that bothered about you.

Wisedupwoman · 09/07/2011 11:57

For all my married life (20 years) I had a recurring dream that my now XH of 4 months had left me and I was searching for him but couldn't find him. The sense we made of it was that it was my insecurity because of his devotion to me.

When I discovered his second OW in March and he left, I stopped having the dream and realised just how much he lied and betrayed me, and for how long.

The other night I had the first dreams about him for ages. The first was where he was trying to strangle me (we are in the throes to coming to a settlement which he wants to go all his way) and the second one he is trying to get into the house through the windows and I am shutting them on his hands ( I went complete no contact after he went and he tries to find out about me via our DS's). Both very disturbing. I think they're just symptomatic of our waking worries and don't have any predictive value at all.

Your real life sounds unhappy and unfulfilling with your H. Your dreams won't tell you what to do or what is going to happen, but they could give you important insight into your waking life IMO.

deliasniff · 09/07/2011 14:10

why do you fear pregnancy so much? I can understand not wanting to get pregnant but as long as you are taking precautions your fear sounds a bit irrational to me.

HerHissyness · 09/07/2011 22:34

Agree with SGB, he is messing with your mind, your psyche and your self-esteem.

Love is not supposed to hurt, it is supposed to feel GOOD.

Trust your instincts, intuition doesn't lie.

garlicnutter · 10/07/2011 11:11

I agree, too. I don't think dreams foretell the future as such, but they definitely can let you know what you already know but prefer not to recognise consciously - like Blether's dream.

These dreams are definitely NOT telling you your relationship makes you happy! Get out of it, please ... and buy a pg test. Good luck.

Apocalypto · 10/07/2011 13:07

Astounding - he's to blame for your dreams.

What a fantastic get out of jail free card.

garlicnutter · 10/07/2011 13:14

Well, if the relationship is "jail" then the card's a good one, isn't it?
Not getting your point, unless it's that a person isn't allowed to finish a relationship without legally-admissible evidence

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