Just feeling a bit glum

[Rosamund1980]

Hello,

I'm just feeling a little glum today. There are two issues at the moment which are making me sad.

Firstly, I heard from my exDP (he needed to sort out some insurance business) and he's off on holiday with his new DP, and sounds very very happy. We split a year ago, and it was to do with the renewal of car insurance.

We split not because he was abusive or anything of that ilk, it just didn't work out.

The other issue is that I'm seeing a new boyfriend, and we get on well, but I don't know whether we're in love. Am I worrying too much? Should I let it takes its course? We do a lot of fun stuff together.

I'm just feeling a bit sad today and needed to vent.

Well, let's look on the bright side: exDP may lose his luggage, get stung by a jellyfish and end up with a horrible intestinal worm.

Seriously, he 'sounds' happy. Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. Don't compare yourself to him! You have your own life and it sounds as if you feel your ex is doing 'better' than you are. Your new relationship sounds just right. Fun and getting on well. If it is meant to be, it will be.

One of my mistakes I make is to compare myself to imagined versions of people. I know I need to stop it.

Thanks by the way

I know exactly what you mean by "the imagined versions of people". I've done exactly the same thing in the past! Are they happier than me? Are they more in love with the new person? Are they going out morning noon and night and living the good life?

Answer: probably not. Jobs, bills, children...we're all dealing with the daily grind, and the fun stuff that pops up on facebook or others tell us are the highlights from an otherwise normal routine. Comparisons won't make you happy because your imagination will always be able to create the "better" life the other person is having and drag down your mood. Be kind to yourself and focus on doing the things that make you happy rather than worrying if he has it better.