Hi, I'm a bit nervous as I have not posted before but I need some advice. My husband and I have been together for thirteen years and we have four dc's ds11 dd8 ds4 & ds12weeks. Dc4 was a suprise, a genuine shock (the pill and condoms with no accidents we were aware of) In the end despite his loudly expressed wishes I decided to go ahead with the pregnancy (we have had a chaotic history which contributed to my decision, it was the right decision for me). He was miserable and cross during the pregnancy and in week 1 said he couldn't love your youngest ds, he now says he loves him very much but remains sulky and cross. I can't live like this, he says I've ruined his/ours/our other kids lives. Apparently I can't cope because I've asked him to help around the house on the rare occasion he's home before nine, and refuses to consider work opportunities abroad (something we both want to do and I'm happy for him to do ones under a year on his own) because we have 'so many children'. I'm so fed up, i would like him to leave, I feel we would be better parents apart as when I'm with him I constantly feel guilty for 'ruining his life' which makes me sad and snappy. I do love him and understand his feelings but I won't spend the rest of my life apologising. Advice please!! Ps he is refusing to get a vasectomy which I am desperate for him to have, I'm a migraine sufferer so a lot of hormones are unsuitable and with this many children we need something foolproof!