Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

My hubby is a lazy bast**d

16 replies

mieow · 09/10/2003 08:36

He has been been off sick for about 4 months now, and he hasn't got up with the kids once. He comes out with excuses everyday, like "oh I must have diebates, better go and get checked" " Oh there must be something wrong, better go get checked" "i'm ill" I had 4 1/2 hours sleep last night but he had 7!!! I am shattered and fed up. The kids seem to be annoying me more because I am tired. He doesn't ever say "sorry I am a lazy git" No there has to be something wrong. He said that he gets up and takes DS to school and that i should be grateful!!!!!!!! And that he doesn't see me getting off my asre to take him to school, well sorry but I don't drive and would have to walk him to school and then be back here for 5 minutes after to get DD in the taxi to take her to her Special needs school............ I am so tired!!!!!!!!!!!And I have had enough

OP posts:
Twinkie · 09/10/2003 08:56

Message withdrawn

M2T · 09/10/2003 09:13

Mieow - That is just BANG out of order! I would definitely take Twinkies advice.

However, he might really be ill. One of my friends boyfriends has had Glandular Fever for nearly a year and can't work. Sometimes he sleeps 14 hours a day! If he is genuinely fatigued he must go get a blood test. If he refuses..... he's bluffing and you need to take some serious action!

Good luck.

doormat · 09/10/2003 09:24

I would defo go on strike.

my dh was similar, very lazy and still is to a point.
I went on strike and he didnt like it.There was no clean clothes for him as he did not know how to turn the washing machine on (he thought if he rubbed up against it that would turn it on)
He had no dinners cooked so had to learn how to cook a meal.
Nookies was a no go as I pointed out to him that he was so tired all the time so I didnt want to knacker him out furthur.
When he wanted to go to the pub, was it worthwhile as he was so tired and I was coz I did everything.
In the end (it took a couple of weeks but I think the pub was the killer)he got the message and has mucked in ever since

monkey · 09/10/2003 14:23

well done, doormat! Mieow - d'you think you'll do it?

Twinkie · 09/10/2003 14:45

Message withdrawn

doormat · 09/10/2003 14:50

Not really twinkie but was trying to make mieow smile
monkey thanx

Freyah · 09/10/2003 22:08

What is wrong with your dh that he has been off work sick for 4 months? Has he been signed off sick by a Dr for these past 4 months? If he isn't really sick and signed off then he should be out working not geting under your feet all day and being annoying and if he's not really sick he should be helping you out around the house.

I agree with Twinkie, go on strike

Original poster
mieow · 09/10/2003 22:33

He has done some major damage to his knee and the doctor has signed him off. He can go back to work on light duties but his work says they have none suitable. I want him back at work ASAP ashe is throwing my routine out.
He keeps putting the kids to bed far too early because they "are getting on his nerves" then when they get up at 5:30am its me that has to get up and deal with them...... I wanted the kids to stay up tonight but DD1,3 still went up at 6pm, DD2,2, I made stay up to 6:30pm and I was chatting to DS,5, and he went up at 7pm. He keeps saying that its late enough!!!! He then gets the hump with me, enough though its me getting up mega early!!!!!!

OP posts:
Freyah · 10/10/2003 21:37

when the kids come through in the morning at 5.30am just roll over and ignore them until he has to get up and see to them. Or else say it's your turn this morning and refuse to move, if you are really strong and wait long enough and if you can stand it, he'll have to get up as they will get on his nerves and he'll want peace and quiet. Sounds really cruel to the children and you won't want to ignore them but surely he should get up some mornings with them if he's there all day quality time and all that.

judetheobscure · 10/10/2003 21:59

A bad knee and diabetes? They're no reasons not to help out around the house. Doormat's ideas are great. Plus I would send HIM to bed at 6pm if he's finding the children bothersome. My children (similar ages) don't go to bed until 7.30 -8pm. Show him the thread on mumsnet about it (prob. called "what time do your children go to bed?")

He must be driving you mad. I think I'd have hit him by now.

Original poster
mieow · 11/10/2003 09:30

Oh I rolled over and ignored the kids this morning, trouble is so did he!! He finally got up 45 minutes after the kids and DD2's bedroom is trashed and the blind has been broken!!!! Knew it was a mistake to ask him to get up

OP posts:
Tom · 11/10/2003 09:39

Hey mieow - give it time... you're using the perfect strategy. From what I know about the way households operate, when one person does a job (e.g. washing/getting up with the kids etc), everyone else in the household stops thinking about that job, because they think it's covered.

If you simply stop doing it all the time, he'll start thinking about it... no matter how late, and when he discovers things like a broken blind (which he will have to fix, right?), then he'll think twice about not getting up on time.

This is very similar in my household - my son has learnt that mum will NOT get up - so only tries to get me up, every morning. Even now, she's still in bed.

doormat · 11/10/2003 10:05

mieow sorry but like tom says give it time
hugs xxx

slug · 11/10/2003 20:39

I let dh have his sleep in in the morning if he wants it. But when he finally gets up (10.30 this morning) I go straight back to bed for an hour with a book and the door locked. - from the inside

slug · 11/10/2003 20:42

I let dh have his sleep in in the morning if he wants it. But when he finally gets up (10.30 this morning) I go straight back to bed for an hour with a book and the door locked. - from the inside

slug · 11/10/2003 20:44

Ooops

New posts on this thread. Refresh page