I have posted about my mother so many times over the years..heres the back story.
As a little girl, mum was fairly distant and detatched from me, my parents split when I was 6 yet I never recall my mum hugging me or cuddling me.a turbulent few years followed in which we moved back to wales to live with my grandparents, my mum seemed to leave most of the child rearing to my grandparents and had little to do with me. I shared a bed in the same room as my mum from the age of 8 to 13 which was pretty horrible, the day I started my periods I had no one to talk to and ended up going to school with cotton wool in my knickers, my mum met my step dad when I was 12, he was 26 he made it very clear that he didnt like me..I spent most of my time in my grandparents care while she built her relationship with him..
at 13..I made the decision to go and live with my dad and from that point barely had anything to do with my mother, she married etc and showed little interest in me..life with my dad was horrendous..I was beaten regularly and at 16 was removed by social services..my mother seemed blissfully unaware of all this. At 17 I lost a baby late in pregnancy, my mother didnt even come to visit me..
As the years have gone by Ive been more accepting of my mum..and just came to realise that she would never be the loving caring mum I wanted..everything would always be on her terms..
6 years ago she persuaded me to move back near her, convincing me that she would be helpful and supportive..my marriage was on the rocks at the time and Id nearly died of a stroke..so I returned along with my four children..the help was not there..and it was made clear to me that she would only visit once a week, never help out in an emergency, not answer the phone when my step dad was home, not associate with me when my step dad was off work..the contact would always be on her terms..yet my elder daughter aged 20 is welcomed with open arms, can visit freely, and stay there at weekends with her boyfriend.. etc..a few weeks ago, a misunderstanding between me and my mum lead to my elder daughter littering my face book page with abusive messages and telling me she wanted nothing more to do with me,my mother and daughter will frequently repeat things I have said innocently to either of them, and twist them to cause problems..
today I had enough after yet another barrage of abuse from elder daughter..I told my mother that I was fed up of her favouring her over her other grandchildren and she actually swore down the phone at me and hung up..so I have left her a message on her voicemail asking her to leave me alone..she has rung me back shouting down the phone that she intends to ring social services and have my children taken away from me because I amm poisonous and not fit to be a mum
Im utterly distraught that she could even entertain the idea of doing such a sick thing, my youngest is only 14 months..I am going through a marriage break up and she hasnt even been to see me..I feel so utterly lost and bereft...but I know I will not be blackmailed into resumming contact