I'm a survivor of a long emotionally abusive relationship. After 2 years out of it, I thought I might be ready to date again, but I really have no idea how to handle situations.
I've been dating Boy Friend for 7 months, he is quite a bit older than me and been a batchelor for a long time. Very kind and generous, but the biggest problem is he works very long hours and then spends most of his spare time in pubs, though he doesn't drink to excess.
Just recently I have felt uneasy that he isn't always honest with me about going to the pub when we don't see each other. As far as I am concerned, he can do exactly what he likes but he has been very cagey about what he has been doing and says he had an early night, when I know he has been in the pub.
I said to him that he didn't have to cover it up. I suspect that his ex-wife gave him a hard time about going to the pub. I don't think he has another woman for one minute.
Last evening, he called me at 6pm and said I'm stuck in traffic I won't get home until 8.30pm I won't text you tonight as I am going to go to bed early. That's fine I said. He normally texts me good night but it does take him a long time to send one.
I felt uneasy about this, I suspected he wanted to go to the pub and straight home to bed and couldn't be bothered to text me as it would take him 20 mins or so. I passed the local pub at 7:30 pm and sure enough his car was there.
This isn't the first time this has happened
So I sent him an annoyed text saying that he didn't have to lie to me. He then called me to say that it was a mistake and the traffic had not been so bad after all. I was angry and said I didn't beleive him. He then got quite nasty and said you don't own me, you're not married to me, you need to think about what you want from this relationship.
Now I am confused. My instincts tell me he isn't always honest, but I have no proof. I really like him and want him back, but now he knows I don't trust him so how can we get back from here?
Sorry it's long but could really do with some help!