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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Pregnant and in shock

4 replies

olalla · 22/06/2011 18:46

I found out today I am 5 weeks pregnant and I am in complete shock.
Not only did we use condoms but I have only been with DP for four months. Although I could see myself having children with him further down the line and I have always been fairly anti-abortion, it was the first thing I thought of.
Am I a horrible person??

OP posts:

larakitten · 22/06/2011 19:04

Didn't want to read and run.....You are not a horrible person at all. You need to take a deep breath, tell DP and get some counselling. Talk to your GP who will outline your options.

But, at risk of repeating myself, it does not make you a horrible person. Many, many women do this, all for their own individual reasons.

Do what is right for you and DP.

SingOut · 22/06/2011 19:22

Of course you're not a horrible person! Only you can decide what to do, but try not to be swayed by the opinions of others, as they won't to have to live with the decision for the rest of their lives - you will, for the rest of yours. Make sure you're fully informed and think through the outcome and how you might feel in either case.
And have an un-MN hug. You sound like you need one :)

oldenoughtowearpurple · 22/06/2011 19:28

Your reaction is perfectly normal. There is nothing like real experience to shake up your thinking. Like Lara says, think long and hard and be thankful you have a choice.

NeonGolden · 22/06/2011 20:24

Well, many women who are anti-abortion are swayed when they face an unwanted pregnancy themselves -- not saying you should get one, just that it's different in theory and in practice.

Having an abortion doesn't make you a horrible person. If the circumstances really aren't right, if you couldn't be the parent you'd want to be, it could be a solution.

However, you have some time to think about it now.. Are you financially independent? Do you work? Why wouldn't it be a good time to have a child?

It's definitely not an easy decision to make. I think this is something where you first have to think with your head, but in the end you probably have to follow your heart. If things aren't ideal but you do want this baby, you will make it through. Terminating a pregnancy when you aren't sure it's the right choice could be a terrible burden.

Wishing you lots of strength and luck.

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