out of the woods re bad relationship

[notsorted]

I just wanted to share this: I've been lurking, reading and occasionally posting re very difficult relationship with sometime partner.
Today I think I've made some progress. Saw post yesterday in which someone said
"A good father is one who respects the mother of his children and supports the mother in what she does to bring up their children and look after the family".
It made absolute sense to me and made me see where OH was letting me down and why I was so frustrated and depressed hoping that I could do something different. I know there are loads of people out there saying get rid of him because of x or y and lots of others asking if a relationship can be saved. At the moment my relationship is definitely off, but there is still a residual hope that I can mend things (I haven't bought St Lundy book yet, though have tried counselling alone, am on ADs and do struggle from day-to-day not having OH around). However, I've slowly making progress on what I want and learning not to be afraid to say it, so am using the above to judge his actions. I don't think the above statement matters if you are together or have split. It seems like a yardstick against which to judge how H, OH, exH or whoever behaves.
What does anyone else think?

[fizzfiend]

didn't want your post to be missed....are you separated? what's the history? sorry you're having a crappy time..