Hi Leo, I just read your thread and thought I'd check in to say I'm another one in a similar situation, and I share much the same feelings. H moved out at the beginning of may, and whilst it was not a separation I wanted, I knew things were not ok between us. I completely identify with what you're saying about missing him to say all the 'little stuff' to. Just his presence in the house, even. My finances are in a mess too, because I don't work through ill health, so I've had to try to claim all sorts of benefits to replace his income, and they seem to take months to sort out. My mum has had to help me out too and although she doesn't mind, I feel guilty taking money from her.
I cry sometimes when I watch The Apprentice, because we both used to sit there commenting on the awfulness of the candidates etc-but he's not there any more. I start to text him about something, then I suddenly remember that he won't be interested in my daily trivia any more.
I don't want to meet anyone else in a relationship sense, and I'm not at the point where other people, no matter how supportive, are 'replacing' him. At the moment, I think i'm still emotionally tied to him, and as others have said, it is a grieving process we have to go through before we are ready to 'let go.'
I've just started reading a Relate guide called "The Relate Guide to Starting Again" and it's got a fantastic section on all the feelings you go through when you separate, whatever the reasons for the separation. It's really helping me because I identified with so much of the feelings, and realising that it's normal AND reasonable to feel these things is helping me cope. Maybe reading it youself may help you?
That's not so say I'm sailing through this because of a book-I've spent most of last week sunk in a depression because H told me he's met someone new already. For 5 days I've been in bed crying, not eating properly and doing nothing round the house. H has had to take my son to stay with him because I was literally in no state to look after him (I have anxiety problems anyway which complicates things)
But luckily I'd ordered that book from Amazon and it turned up a couple of days ago, and it's really helped to read that it's normal and healthy to allow yourself to feel all this stuff.
Just take everything in small steps. Do what you can when you feel you can,even if it is just washing the dishes or hoovering one room. And when it's done remind yourself that you've managed one thing today that you couldn't face before, and that's a good thing. And keep reminding youself what you are feeling is normal. Don't berate yourself for feeling the things you do.
Have you actually thought about making an appointment with a Relate counsellor? They don't just save marriages, they counsel people who are goinng through separation as well. That was my small step yesterday-I made an appointment for next week.
The sessions usually cost about £40, but if you are in financial difficulties they will offer a reduction. I am only being asked to pay £25 for my session, which if I end up doing a course of sessions will still seem a lot, but if they can help me get through this in the best way possible, I think it will be well worth it.
Sorry this is such a long post, I just wanted to you to know that you are not alone in how you feel, and to try to offer some practical advice. Keep posting, even just writing your feelings down on here will be helping you in some way.